Everybody rushes to the stores to get the newest iPhone or to the theater to see the newest movie. We often feel left out if we are not in on the newest technology or TV season. Ads lining website sidebars and emails assail us with images of the newest trends in fashion. All these things tempt us to conform to the rapidly changing social norm. So, what is normal, if there is such a thing?
All these fads are like kindling which we continually add to the fire of our happiness. To keep it aflame, we have to keep adding more -- more clothes, more technology, more money, more, and more. And what society tells us is that we need a lot of material possessions to be the kindling. In the end, we are being led toward this ideal image of a happy person who has the best clothing, technology, fitness, job, etc. Something like this:
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Conformity is an interesting thing. Solomon Ash, a 20th century psychologist, crafted a famous experiment called the Ash line test. People in a group were asked to identify the shortest of a set of three lines. One person would knowingly answer incorrectly. Subsequently, many people questioned their answer and/or chose the wrong answer because the one person who answered incorrectly influenced their decision making. In the end, Ash discovered that three fourths of the people testing conformed to the incorrect person. In other tests, Ash found that if the participants wrote the answer down or if just one person said the correct answer, the participants were less likely to conform to the incorrect answer. These results go to show the power that these images of societal norms have on us. We do not want to look stupid or different; rather, we want to belong to a community. Therefore, we forfeit who we are to conform to the homogeneous worldly image.
Some saints have some discouraging words about this. For example, St. Paul exclaims, "Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Romans 12:2). He believes that we need to transform ourselves from the way of the world to the way of God, so that we may find joy. He is very clear that this joy cannot be found in the world because he says that we should not conform ourselves to it.
Instead of viewing this new way of life as rejecting the world, St. Catherine of Sienna says, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” From her perspective, if one more fully embraces who he/she is, the world will become more alive. Who doesn't want that?
One exaggerated image of conformity that comes to mind is George Orwell's "1984." He goes to extremes to show how disastrous societal homogeneity can be. The main character is pushed to his limit because the society punishes him for not conforming to their groupthink. This groupthink infiltrates every part of his society's life; there are even TV interruptions of propaganda to brainwash the citizens with this groupthink. Now, this isn't to say that all ads and commercials are propaganda. But it is important to be aware of the impact that they are having on us.
Contrarily, an example of someone who embraces their uniqueness is Luna Lovegood from "Harry Potter." She is often viewed as an oddball by most of her peers. Nonetheless, she goes about life the way she is. She even ends up being an important part in Harry's journey to defeat Voldemort by giving him information about the Deathly Hallows and the diadem of Ravenclaw that nobody else knows about.
So, be in the world, but not of it (see John 15:19). We humans live in this world, yet we are called beyond. We have an eternal purpose. Not made to remain in the temporal and superficial, we are destined for greatness, in the words of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. By moving inward toward our soul, we can realize our purpose and potential. So, we need to be who we were made to be, not who the world tells us to be.
Do not be afraid of being who you are. You were given certain skills and interests to make a constructive impact in the world. Do not allow your disparities to separate or devalue yourself. Your differences may seem negative or limiting at times, but by embracing them, you distinguish yourself from others. In the wise words of Marcus Mumford, "this weakness I feel, I must finally show" and "your soul you must keep, totally free."
