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7 Unexpected Things That College Teaches You

Yeah, you learn about your career and stuff, but you also learn how to run off of four hours of sleep for two days.

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7 Unexpected Things That College Teaches You


1. How to sleep in until the last possible minute and still be on time (barely).

You hit that snooze alarm. Go for it. You’ve got time. Messy bun it is.

2. How to write a seven page paper in an hour.

Just repeat your point a few different times in a few different ways. Put in two spaces between sentences. And add lots and lots of bullshiting.

3. How to write a seven page paper on something you don’t know anything about.

Lots and lots of bullshitting.

4. How to live on $17 for two weeks.

"I can get a McChicken tonight, eat ramen for the next four days, and I’m pretty sure there’s an event on campus with free pizza tomorrow night..."

5. How to sort out your priorities, like buying alcohol over dinner tonight.

I had a big lunch, I’ll be okay.

6. How to make any task worthy of a nap afterwards.

“Man, that walk to class was draining. I should nap.” “I studied for like, 20 minutes. I can squeeze in a power nap.”

7. How not to kill the people you’re paired with for group projects.

Need I say more?

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