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Politics and Activism

Understanding the Aftermath of an Abusive Relationship

Know the facts and what you can do to serve as support

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Understanding the Aftermath of an Abusive Relationship
google.com

Abuse is a very difficult subject to talk about, and it’s even more difficult for someone who’s suffered from abuse to confront their past. Let’s face the facts; abuse happens. Abuse is real. Abuse can be physical, emotional, or most commonly both, and can happen between anyone. Victims of abuse will most likely carry their scars-physical or emotional-with them for the rest of their lives. In fact, most abuse victims can range in various phases of PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Let's talk about that for a second. Now, PTSD isn’t just for our friends fighting for our american freedom. "Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of a traumatic event. A traumatic event is a life-threatening event such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood." (mentalhealthamerica.net). Someone who has “[Survived] violent acts, such as domestic violence, rape, sexual, physical and/or verbal abuse or physical attacks” is more than likely to suffer from PTSD, which is why it’s important to understand the anxiety that this person may have when they move on in their lives.

The possible symptoms for an abuse survivor are endless. Being “over dramatic”, defensive, anxious, moody, depressed, etc. are all common characteristics of an abuse survivor, whether emotional or physical. Most survivors may take their fear out on themselves, sometimes by hiding away from society when they once loved to be out and about. Some may gain weight, some may lose weight, some might stay the same, but now hate the body they once loved. They may cut off friendships and relationships with loved ones because they don’t feel good enough, or don’t want to be seen as a changed person. Unfortunately, most survivors may become suicidal, which can range in a variety of signs and symptoms of it’s own. Self harm and distancing themselves are huge signs of major depression and suicidal thoughts, but it might not be that apparent. While their friends notice that they’re still waking up rather early and functioning, what’s happening inside of the victim's head is terrifying, and takes it’s toll on the victim. As their friend’s are getting up, they’re thinking about breakfast, or their plans, while the victim thinks about how long it’ll be until the day is over. While most of their coworkers are able to take constructive criticism, a survivor may unconsciously deconstruct their criticism to be used as self hate, and they spend their day dreading about their unworthiness to live. As most of their friends will close their eyes to sleep, victims lay up at night reliving their nightmares, and possibly every way they can and want to die.

It’s a terrifying cycle that never ends, and can stem from any form of abuse. And it’s true that symptoms like these can lead to physical repercussions, as the immune system may weaken over time and the stress can increase the rate of ageing. Sadly, seeing a therapist and being on anti-depressants are still not enough for most survivors. That's why it’s so important to be mindful of your friends and surroundings, be careful of your actions and words. “Triggers” are real, but can be avoided with mindfulness. Always be sure to report any suspicions of suicidal tendencies of your loved ones to suicide hotlines or local authorities. But it’s also important to take the time to learn how to be more mindful and helpful to victims of abuse. The internet is filled with knowledge and advice, and you never know, one day that might all be the reason that you save someone’s life.

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