There are Two Types of People

The strange kid that sits alone at lunch and doesn't talk to anyone and gives off the "emo" or "goth" vibe. And then there's the kid who thinks he's all that, he doesn't care about authority and thinks everyone else is lesser than himself, in fact he treats everyone like that too. I've kind of been both before. Sure, never the ultra rebellious type, and never the one who thinks he's actually inherently better than everyone. But, I've had attitudes similar to both.

Both have issues that affect society and themselves. One doesn't give anyone a chance to love him, let alone giving himself that chance. And the other believes he deserves everyone's wholehearted respect without a question.

Hating Yourself.

For me, it was Middle School. I disliked myself. So, I tried to gain acceptance from everyone around me. I did whatever I could just to get someone to like me since I couldn't even like myself. This was a poor decision, all I did was try too hard and push everyone away. Because let's be honest, the person that hates themselves and is desperately pushy towards everyone begging for love, isn't exactly the most popular person. Especially in middle school. I coped, but in an unhealthy way. Life was not enjoyable.

So, High School hits, finally, a change right? No. Sure, I picked up some friends, friends I'm still extremely close with to this day, but I hadn't changed. Other people were loving me, but it still wasn't enough. Because I still didn't even love myself. I thought I was worthless, but I also thought I could feed off of other people's appreciation and by winning them over, then win myself over. I was wrong.

Sophomore year this became too obvious. I ended up crashing without anything to fall back on.

Thinking You're the Best

The problem with thinking you're just the absolute best is that it causes you to look down on everyone else. No one else could possibly be you or even remotely as amazing as you. This a view of yourself that simply isn't true, you aren't "all that" and when you realize this, it's going to hurt you.

It also limits you socially. If you are that arrogant, you aren't going to want to associate with a lot of people because of the status you give them. And they probably won't want to associate with someone looking down on them as much as you would be.

Finding a solution

Obviously both of these problems grow through lack of one, and the abundance of the other. In order for these problems to not be problems, they must exist together.

For instance, if you are living in a state of mind where there is no doubt that you are perfect, you will be living a lie and be judging everyone else. If you are in a state of mind in which you believe you are the absolute worst human being to exist, then you won't be letting yourself live happily, and drive others away. You will never accept yourself.

So include both in your life. When you feel proud about an accomplishment, be proud, but consider what went wrong or what could be improved upon. When you really mess something up, understand that what you did was bad, but also consider what you did right, and what was out of your control.

Through simple exercises like this, by examining the good and the bad, you may discover that you aren't solely perfect, but also you aren't solely worthless. You are both. You simply aren't perfect.

Your flaws expose your humanity, and your perfections expose room for improvements.