I’ve reached a weird phase of my life that people usually go through at a young age. Younger than 19, probably. Most likely... Definitely.

Growing up, I was an aggressive “tom-boy,” in that I rejected content and media that was of a more “feminine” nature. I hated pink as a color, I didn’t want to wear dresses, I wanted to play with action figures. Exactly what you’d expect from a little girl who’s very anti-feminine (but not to be confused with identifying as a different gender) when it comes to how she plays or what clothes she wears. Some of this has definitely faded over time as I matured, but a prime example of something I readily turned away from, up until even recently, is the Disney Princess line of movies. The collection began with Disney’s groundbreaking "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" in 1938 and has seen its most recent addition through the release of "Moana" a month ago—which is ultimately where this article will take us.

I never ran through the house for days dressed as one of the princesses. I never sought them out at Disneyland for autographs or photo ops. And I only really liked three of them — Mulan, Jasmine and Pocahontas — mostly because they weren’t just wearing dresses for their respective films (so, admittedly, I’ve dressed up as them for a few Halloweens many Octobers ago). As far as relating to them goes, or what seems to be what people love to do with them — again, I’m new to this whole “magic of Disney Princesses” thing, so I'm trying — I later on just pointed to Mulan for that. She’s Asian, I’m Asian, done. Also, her music is cool. Of course, Chinese culture and Filipino culture are fairly different, so it was always more just appreciating Mulan as a character rather than empathizing with her. It was never about me or my own ability to be her. I never pretended to be her, outside of for Halloween, I guess.

I’ve seen so many pictures and videos online throughout the years of little girls (and boys!) dressing up and impersonating specific princesses, going through the motions of the songs with their families as an audience, et cetera, et cetera. I’m sure all the parents out there know exactly what I’m talking about, and I’m pretty sure my family even had a bright red Ariel wig lying around for my little sister at one point, plus a plethora of her other "The Little Mermaid"-themed stuff.

This is all leading us to my main point. In a recent article, I discussed how awesome "Moana" is in that its titular character Disney’s first Pacific Islander (specifically, Polynesian — these aren’t interchangeable terms) princess, in addition to how feminist the movie is by not being outwardly feminist — i.e., the plot isn’t driven by Moana overcoming obstacles as a girl, there is no mention of romance for her, so on and so forth. Moana is the closest Disney Princess we Filipinx people have as representation of our own at the moment, so, from that angle, I’ve basically been a bundle of enthusiasm and joy for this movie over the past month.

And, of course, Moana as a character is someone I can relate to. She’s driven, nervous, and a bit clumsy. She’s also a little “quirky,” which I mention to point out the fact that we all praised Anna from "Frozen" for acting so unprincess-like, and while Moana does this in her own way, I have yet to see her receive nearly as much praise in this regard in comparison to her white predecessors in "Frozen." So, what does this have to do with my track record of being indifferent toward Disney Princesses?

…I’ve seen "Moana" six times in theaters.

Why, you ask? Well, these feelings can only be expressed in all-caps…OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS DISNEY MAGIC THAT HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE? WHERE CAN I BUY A MOANA COSTUME IN MY SIZE SO I CAN PARADE AROUND MY DORM ROOM AND HOUSE IN IT? HOW CAN I BE HER? WHERE CAN I FIND HER IN DISNEYLAND FOR AN AUTOGRAPH AND A PICTURE? WHY DOES THE MESSAGE OF “HOW FAR I’LL GO” AND ALL OF ITS RENDITIONS SPEAK TO ME SO MUCH? HOW FAR WILL I GO? I DON’T KNOW! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? I THINK DRESSES ARE PRETTY COOL AFTER ALL? I NEED TO COLLECT EVERY MOANA THING POSSIBLE. I MUST GO TO DISNEYLAND RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY—

Ahem…Realistically speaking, I started crying after the third time I saw Moana. It was my 19th birthday. I had bugged my best friend about seeing it pretty much since the first time I saw it. All I really remember is trying to muffle my soon-to-be-sobbing with my thick coat, balled up in my hands as I hid my face in it, telling her that I had a princess that actually looked like me (and is generally like me in other ways) for the first time ever. Or, really, in my now 19 years of life. It's been a long wait, but "Moana" made it all worth it.

I think I understand the big deal about Disney Princesses now. And the appeal. They are pretty magical. I feel pretty empowered as of late. Is it normal to feel like you can accomplish anything after watching your favorite Disney Princess in action? That’s where I’m at.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find some people to see this beautiful film for a seventh time with me. Why?

It calls me.