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When You're Under 5'4, All 13 Of These Things Are True AF For You

"Sometimes all I want is to be a few inches taller so the world does not look like a dense collection of torsos."

lmullins

Sep 16, 2018

Eastern Michigan University

252

Photo by Daniel Spase from Pexels

In my opinion, 5'4" isn't even that short but having a boyfriend that is a whole foot taller I'm seldom allowed to forget my height. However, what he doesn't know is that there are plenty of advantages to being shorter. In fact - I've seen a few studies that link height to longevity, meaning that some research shows short people live longer. I don't know if that necessarily holds much water but the point remains there are studies.

This of course is satire, directed at all the people who make fun of my height on a regular basis, which I'm sure many can relate to. However, sometimes we just need to have safe space to acknowledge and commiserate on the various, comical trials many like to point out.

If you can't laugh at yourself, then what's the point?

........Right?

Here are some things I may or may not collectively think on a regular basis as someone who isn't "average height".

Conversations often happen over the top of your head.

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When people sitting down are almost the same height as you standing up.

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The reactions when you tell people your height.

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It's inevitable there will be that one guy that steps in front of you at concerts, etc....even though he see's he's clearly five inches taller.

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You look younger than you are.

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I remember specifically as a high school senior with my cadet teaching class I would always be lectured in the middle school about wearing my ID because I would be mistaken for a 6th-8th grader.

Even though no one else wore theirs.

I have also been carded at movie theaters for rated R movies even though I'm 22.

However, when everyone else is 50 - I will look 30. Hahahahaha.

When your younger sibling starts to get taller than you.

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You have to get creative when trying to reach things on higher shelves.

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Sorting through the piles of jeans at stores to find pants that are short.

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Forcing your feet flat on the ground when you sit so they don't dangle.

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Always having to look up some degree during conversations.

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My head is very often confused with an arm rest.

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Having to sit super close to the steering wheel while driving.

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And being reminded every time someone tries to drive your car.

Wearing heels makes you "normal" height.

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My Napoleon complex is satisfied.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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When You're Under 5'4, All 13 Of These Things Are True AF For You

"Sometimes all I want is to be a few inches taller so the world does not look like a dense collection of torsos."

In This Article:

Conversations often happen over the top of your head.

When people sitting down are almost the same height as you standing up.

The reactions when you tell people your height.

It's inevitable there will be that one guy that steps in front of you at concerts, etc....even though he see's he's clearly five inches taller.

You look younger than you are.

When your younger sibling starts to get taller than you.

You have to get creative when trying to reach things on higher shelves.

Sorting through the piles of jeans at stores to find pants that are short.

Forcing your feet flat on the ground when you sit so they don't dangle.

Always having to look up some degree during conversations.

My head is very often confused with an arm rest.

Having to sit super close to the steering wheel while driving.

Wearing heels makes you "normal" height.

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Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

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