Only Child Syndrome? | The Odyssey Online
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Only Child Syndrome?

I am, regretfully, a stereotypical only child.

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Only Child Syndrome?
30 Rock

Having an only child is a privilege enjoyed by a mere 23 percent of families in America. If your family falls into that 23 percent, then you will understand the struggles and the blessings of being the sole child in your household.

This is my account of how being my family's only child has rewarded and crippled me.

1. Sharing a Room

Pro: I’ve never had shared a room with another person, excluding extended family vacations and the occasional sleepover. I have always been able to put up any ridiculous band poster I wanted, play whatever type of music I wanted and be naked whenever I wanted without offending, maiming or emotionally traumatizing anyone.

Con: I have NEVER shared a room. What am I going to do when I start college? I am going to have to systematically decondition myself. All of the weird habits and rituals that I do when I am all by my lonesome will be forced to become extinct practices. (Goodbye 40-minute naked break after shower, you will be missed).

2. Sharing food.

Pro: I love food, but really who doesn’t love food? As an only child I have frequently been given the opportunity to pick what’s for dinner. There are rarely any disagreements, so I basically always get to eat what I want. Another reward of being an only child is that I don’t ever really have to share my food. When my mother cooks enough food for just the two of us, there will probably be some leftovers, and no one ever disturbs them. It is always left waiting for me and only me.

Con: According to my friends and family my “reluctance” (I like to to think of it more as slight heistancy to part with a much-needed source of nourishment) to share food is kind of a problem. Everyone else in my house is usually twice my age. They are able-bodied men and women who can fetch a drink or provide meals for themselves. There has never been a need for me to rush to the fridge because someone might get there first and eat the last slice of cold pizza. I have been spoiled, and I worry that it has ruined me.

3. Sharing a bathroom.

Pro: Purple-walled and all mine. My bathroom belongs to no one but me. My daily skin care routine to the left of the sink. My makeup bags across it on the right. I don’t have to hide my lady things, and I can occasional leave a bra on the door nob. That’s just how I like it.

Con: My bathroom doubles as the guest bathroom, so I try to keep it neat for guests. Sometimes I fail.

But hey, being an only child isn’t only beneficial to me! Here's how it makes me a cool friend to have.

1. Independent

I'm use to being by myself and genuinely enjoy being alone, so I probably won’t be all over your case to hang out.

2. Imaginative


I learned pretty quickly that anything can become a way to have fun.

3. Cooking


Days alone have allowed me to explore different outlets for entertainment, including cooking. While I am not the Barefoot Contessa, I make a really good cajun chicken pasta.

4. Always excited to see friends

The day spent with just me and my shadow can leave me jonesing for human interaction. Good friends are the light at the end of my isolated tunnel. Get it? Light? Shadows? Hilarious.

The greatest thing about only children is our acknowledgment of being only children. We know that sometimes we don't play well with others, and we work to hard to counteract that flaw with kindness and an exuberant amount of self-reliance. At least this only child does. So, yes I am a stereotypical only child that has a hard time sharing her toys, but that doesn't mean I can't learn to (or that I'm not awesome).

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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