I've spent a lot of time being sick and tired. Various health scares, trips to the ER, and injuries color my life. Surprisingly, I got very in shape after I had knee surgery -- despite having a totally atrophied leg from months of not being able to put weight on it, I had abs of steel from the crutches.

But, as I healed, I didn't need physical therapy anymore, so I stopped working out. And I stopped wanting to work out because all I did was running (which made me feel out of breath and wheezy) and lunges (which made my knee hurt).

Fast forward a few years and I've seen the inside of my university gym probably twice. I'm not athletic or physically active, yet I live in a city so at least I walk everywhere and eat healthy-ish. But somehow, something clicked in my head and I decided I needed to work out again. That same kind of click spurred me to learn to play guitar, to save up for a study abroad year in London, and it was going to spur me to get in shape (I hoped).

Now I'm about a month into my workout routine, and here's what I'm learning and what doing to make sure I actually like working out:

1. Don't force the workouts you hate

Things I can't stand doing: lunges, squats, and running. The first two make my knee aggravated, and not in the hey-at-least-I-did-something way that sore muscles do. Then running always made me feel out of breath, like I might pass out or throw up. You know what also makes me feel like I'm going to pass out or throw up? Panic attacks! No wonder I don't like running.

2. Get Pinterest Inspiration

I refuse to pin inspirational quotes, but I love combing through exercise routines and yoga poses to get inspired. I started out using Pinterest Pins to set a schedule: each day I would do a different workout routine. Some days would be full of leg kicks and lifts, other days would have crazy ab exercises, and others would have cool-down yoga that became much harder than a "cool-down" is supposed to be. I don't always do them every day, but I certainly try!

3. Don't focus on losing weight

I'm a control freak. Losing weight wasn't the purpose of my new exercise plan, it was to get in shape and get healthy. I only weigh myself once a week, and I try not to obsess when my weight doesn't go down like I expect it to, or even when it goes up. "But I must be burning fat!" I think, but my mom counters that I'm also gaining muscle, which weighs more than fat. I'm still not entirely happy, but I just have to acknowledge that weight loss isn't a curve, it's a really squiggly and complicated line that never really goes where you expect it to. So don't freak out.

4. Your habits might change

A couple weeks into my new routine, I noticed that my eating habits were shifting. After a workout, I might crave salty chips (since I was losing so much with sweat), but I definitely noticed that my body needed breakfast more and that I didn't crave chocolate, sugar, and fatty foods the way I used to. I still like ice cream, sweets, and snacks, but I don't crave them as much.

5. Be open to try new things

At the start I said "I'm not going to run or do squats or lunges" and I had some valid reasons, but one day I got caught in the pouring rain and had to jog to dry ground. And as it turned out, I wasn't dying. Running wasn't nearly as painful on my lungs or my knee as it used to be--I had probably been building up endurance and strength in other ways. So I decided to go for a run one morning and it so happened that I sort of loved it. So I keep running. I sometimes have to elevate and ice my knee afterword just so I don't push my body too hard, but my dad offered the helpful tip that running is actually great exercise for knees.

And I know things won't change overnight. I won't wake up and suddenly be super skinny or super fit, but I keep reminding myself that how I look on the outside isn't the point of what I'm doing, it's not the goal. The goal is to get a healthier version of myself with healthy habits. I don't want to look better, I want to feel better. That's what exercise, for me, is about.