Imagine: you have class in five minutes, you've just emerged from the Student Stores, and the Pit lies before you, vast and impassable. People, tables, tents...everywhere.
Here are a few specific obstacles you may encounter.
1. A Pit Preacher
GiphyNot the Pit Preacher, but still notable. Whoever it happens to be at the time, he's loud.
3. A Capella Groups
GiphyShout out to the Achordants for being hilarious—one time when they were selling tickets, they yelled, "We're UNC's number one a capella group...alphabetically!" I lost it.
4. A Bake Sale
GiphyUsually for a sorority or some kind of honors society. I hope they have enough funding.
5. Not A Drainage System
GiphyOh, is the Pit flooded again? It must have been sprinkling again this morning. Should've brought my diving equipment.
6. CUAB
GiphyI have to include CUAB here because it is an omnipresent entity. Somehow, CUAB is everywhere.
8. The Pit-Sitters
GiphyYou just need to cut through the Pit so you can be on your way to Greenlaw or Chapman or something, but fellow students are determined to form an impenetrable wall of sitting bodies all the way around it. That's fine, I guess.
9. A Line
GiphyInevitably there'll be some table giving out free snacks or something, and a million people are willing to wait an hour for, like, Pelicans.
10. Some Student Organization
GiphyIt's a different one every day, and they're always trying to bribe you to join. Example:
"Here, have a free [cookie/pen/sandwich/pin/sticker], you just have to sign your soul over to our group until you graduate. :)"
*gasp* what if the comp sci kids are just after our souls?
I've been giving it some thought, and I think the best avoidance strategy when some random Pit person approaches you is to yell, "Hold on one second!" in your best South Road crossing guard voice.
Happy trails!
The minimum wage is not a living wage.
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