I'll admit it, I'm the overprotective friend. I never used to be like this. I can remember times where I was the one who didn't really care a whole lot about my friends’ decisions. I just let them do whatever they wanted and face their own consequences without giving my opinion or suggestion. I don't know what has changed between then and now. But now I let my friends hear my opinion, whether they like it or not. Sometimes they don’t want to hear it, and sometimes I go overboard, but I only do it because I care.
I haven’t really noticed my over-protectiveness or acted upon it until I started to really let people in my life and get close to them. I have seen both of my friends get their hearts broken and stomped on by their significant others and it killed me. I wasn’t around for the break ups; we became friends shortly after those events. But I was there to pick up the pieces. I saw their expressions drop when something reminded them of that person who broke their heart. I can see them holding back tears when they talk about what happened. I can see the change in their body language and I can hear a change in their voice. I guess hearing about and seeing all of this is what has caused me to be so unapologetically over-protective. I never want someone I deeply care about to go through that shit ever again.
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So now, I let my friends hear it. I voice my opinion, whether they want to hear it or not. Just before coming to college, my roommate and best friend had her heart broken by her long-time boyfriend. Our freshman year was the first time since the break up that she was getting back out there and ready to date again, which I was incredibly happy about. She put the past behind her and was ready to do things for herself again. As you can imagine, I was anxious about this. Yeah, she was over her ex, but she is still fragile because of what he did to her. I was wary of any guy she wanted to pursue. I judged them harder than I ever judged anyone before, and I’m not sorry about it. Even now that I know the guy she’s dating quite well, and I see how happy he makes my best friend, I’m still afraid she’s going to get hurt again.
My other best friend, those wounds are still pretty fresh, to me at least. They’re still friends despite the break-up, but it hasn’t been working out too well lately. So the other day they got together to talk about things and the whole situation made me incredibly anxious. I didn’t want my best friend to see her ex and have anything happen that could break her heart even more than it already was. I saw how much their break up has changed and hurt her and I can’t let her go through that again without at least trying. So the day they were going to meet up, I was texting my best friend and being completely insane: making sure she knew what she wanted out of the meeting, and that she had a game plan going in, and making sure that she wasn’t going to go back to her ex because she deserves so much better. I don’t really know how my best friend perceived my “motivational” texts that day, but I don’t really care. She needed to hear that stuff.
So yeah, I’m over-protective of my friends, but someone has to be. I just care so much. Seeing what they went through, and are still going through, breaks my heart. Knowing someone hurt my best friends that badly makes me feel so many emotions, and I’m not a big fan of feeling those emotions. That’s why I’m unapologetically over-protective.
