The holiday season is shockingly not my favorite time of year.
I know, I know, this means I'm a grinch. I don't have a holiday spirited bone in my body, and I never truly get into the holiday spirit. There are some really great parts about the holidays. I appreciate Christmas and Hanukkah and every other November/December/January holiday for all the right reasons. I love seeing family, and spending time with people. I actually like the decorations because they're pretty (and I secretly love to decorate things ALL THE TIME), and I always appreciate a good excuse to give and receive gifts. And this year, my mom and I got away to San Diego and Disneyland for Christmas because why not travel over the holiday season. Oh right, because airports are usually the worst, but they're ten times worse when everyone and their mother is trying to get home for Christmas (and especially this year because Hanukkah overlaps both Christmas and New Years). I can even deal with that no problem. But the one thing that I literally cannot deal with anymore with the holiday season is all of this freaking Christmas music.
I freely admit that it makes me a terrible person. I also understand that I probably shouldn't be admitting to the entire internet that I really dislike Christmas music. I feel like I might have to hide under a tarp for a few weeks until this all blows over.
And to be perfectly honest with all of you internet friends, I don't know what it is about it. Maybe it's the overly optimistic tune to all the songs. Or maybe it's the fact that every song has been done with a ton of variations by different artists. Maybe it's the fact that "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is really blurring the line of consent. Maybe it's because I actually hate the sound of jingle bells. Not the song, but the physical bells that jingle. However, I do really dislike that song, too.
My mother? She listens to Christmas music as soon as it comes on the radio station. Warm 106.9, in Seattle, has the blasted holiday tunes a few days before Thanksgiving even starts. I'm not partial to celebrating a day when the Europeans came over and destroyed Indigenous American culture with smallpox, but I really like food, so Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Laying on the floor in stretchy pants after a really big meal is awesome, and we don't ruin it with a rousing Turkey Day Carol. We appreciate the sound of silence as we all slip into our food comas.
Christmas is different. Christmas brings out this jolly feeling in people that causes them all to sing about jingle bells and mommy kissing Santa Claus, among other things. Which, while a lot of people think is the best thing ever, I'm none too pleased about it 99.9% of the time.
A perfect example comes from eating lunch after a long morning of travel. The restaurant played three different versions of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" in a row. I looked for the nearest poisonous plant to eat. Every restaurant we went to in San Diego was playing Christmas carols and by the end I thought I was going to SCREAM.
I understand that this article is showing you all that I am a terrible person. I have made my peace with it. To me, the Christmas spirit is about doing good for other people. It's about giving without the expectation of receiving something in return. And even though a certain friend of mine from Atlanta would tell you differently, it's definitely not about Mariah Carey's rendition of "All I Want for Christmas is You." I promise.
So, now that this holiday season is coming to a close, remember your friends next year who share my opinions on holiday music, and maybe throw some Fall Out Boy in there for the rest of us.
