Being an artist isn’t always pen, paper and paint keeping you awake. Sometimes it is the thought that you are pursuing an uncommon career. As an artist, we are aware of the fact that not everything is promised, very few things in life are. Personally, I do not need everybody reminding me that the passion I am pursuing is difficult and that very few people actually catch a break in it and that I may simply be a starving artist someday. Those fears rattle my brain every night. They wake me up in the depths of the morning with the thought that my words won’t reach those that I want them to.
The thing that terrifies every cell in my five foot seven body is that one day I may give up on my dream. That one day, I will dispose of my passion for writing and pursue a meaningless nine to five job.
Being a writer isn’t easy. I am currently at the age of 18, and my entire life has been set up for me. From kindergarten to high school, I was expected to continue my education and graduate. It was then expected that I go to college and pursue an area of study that I will focus my life’s work on. Last week, I discussed breaking down the stigma around artists and musicians alike. This week I will be discussing the dirty honest truth of being an artist. It is not the easy way out. It is not the way of getting out of being an active member in society — in reality, it is the complete opposite.
I recently had a conversation with my close friend, Josh Bennett, a filmmaker and writer. He gave me some strong insight on this subject:
"The decision to embark on the life of an artist is like jumping off the moving train you’ve been told to ride on since day one. You imagine yourself hitting the ground running, but you face plant into the dirt with a great deal of pain. You lay there for a few moments as you listen to everyone getting farther and farther away. When you’re sure they’re gone you look up to see a wasteland with no marked path. When you get to your feet your legs are shaking, but you still begin to walk. In no direction at first, but maybe you see a tree in the distance that has pretty flowers, so you head that way. You may occasionally encounter someone, or see a wandering nomad in the distance, but most of the time you are alone. Sometimes you run in a random direction — hoping to find something or someone of value. Once in a while, but only on a few occasions, you will sit still in the grass and enjoy the present moment — not waiting for anything — not hoping for anything — just sitting. But most of the time you will run in circles with tears in your eyes hanging on in frantic desperation waiting for something, anything, to happen. It’s okay though, because you knew this is what you were signing up for. Just don’t listen to the voices and you should be fine."
I come from a family that has been extremely supportive with all my creative endeavors. They have always supported my pursuit of music and literature. My mother grew up as an artist and my father a musician, but that was their hobby rather than the thing keeping them together. Art and journalism is the glue that keeps me together. It is not the thing I do in my spare time, but rather, it is the coffee that wakes me up in the morning.
Being a writer is something peculiar. We all have this information and creative insight, but sometimes we can’t produce content. We can’t get the words on to the paper, paint on the canvas or musical notes into the air. Sometimes, we simply cannot produce the content that we want to share. So, being an artist is a struggle at times.
Just like studying or working with biochemistry, it takes a lot of work. It takes blood, sweat and tears to make anything actually happen. Instead of lugging around textbooks, I find myself buried in a laptop or a book. I find dozens of notebooks scattered on my desk and sticky notes of ideas stashed in every pant pocket I own. Whether you are pursuing a creative or traditional career, they are two sides of the same coin. Both careers take effort and time. Both careers take passion. This passion is just embodied differently in each scenario.
I would like to propose that being an artist is a brave act rather than a "get out of jail free" card. It does not bring the minimum salary of $80,000 a year like a biochemistry degree would. It does not offer the stability that the “dependable” career brings. Instead, it brings the addition of culture to a certain era and offers growth through expression within a society. For that reason, I refuse to give up on my dream. I refuse to put out this creative fire in my soul, because somebody told me that it was going to be hard. As artists, we are the pioneers. That is why it’s worth it. Because if we work hard and never give up, we will one day be able to look at the physical manifestations of our creations and see the impact we have made.