Up until this morning I thought that Ashley Madison was a dating website that Josh Dugger got caught using. When I found out what Ashley Madison really was, it broke my heart.

Just in case you didn’t know, Ashley Madison is a website specifically designed for married people who wish to have affairs with other married people. Last week, a list of over 33-40 million current and potential cheaters was leaked to the public exposing celebrities’, government officials’, and your next door neighbor’s personal, financial, and residential information.

First, I questioned why my state had to be the one with the overwhelming majority of users. Why is it in the south, where religion is soaked into every aspect of our lives? Why is it us, who boast about our manners and hospitality? Why is the buckle of the Bible belt being unfastened for anyone other than its intended?

My next reaction was anger towards my state and the south in general. I think that the south likes to pride itself on how we’ve held onto our Christian heritage. Well, here are some statistics for you:

CNBC revealed the top ten states to view pornography, six of which were in the south, Mississippi being the 3rd. The majority of states to consume gay pornography? The south. The Washington Examiner reports that in 2013, 49% of women ages 15-50, had their children out of wedlock in Louisiana, followed by Mississippi with 48% of women. According to Forbes, Memphis was listed as the 4th most dangerous city in the country in terms of violent crimes followed by the 5th, Birmingham and 6th, Atlanta. That’s an awful lot of sin for us to have so many churches around. You see, we’ve been clinging onto our roots so much that we never looked up to see if there was any fruit on the tree.

So can we please, as a whole, stop pointing fingers to everywhere else and look at our community because I can't seem to find any more stones around to throw.

After anger, I started thinking about the husbands and wives of these people, and my heart broke a little more. I remember getting cheated on in a dumb high school relationship. I didn’t love the dude, but you know what? That hurt really badly. I felt so stupid and heartbroken for months. (Which feels like a long time in high school, okay?) I can’t even begin to fathom the betrayal these spouses feel.

Then I started to think about the customers of the website and the fear they must be feeling. I know what guilt and shame feel like, but I do not know what it feels like going this public. These people, are just as guilty as you and I, and they need to be prayed for, not have their names shared on Facebook.

This is why I refuse to look up that list. I don’t want to know who’s on it. It’s not for me to look at. This is mostly because I know that I would start to see people differently, and you know what? It’s none of my business. You know why all sin is the same to Jesus? Because He had to die for it all. He had to die for your white lie, and he had to die for the murders. He, who was pure and blameless, was so covered in our sin that God himself could not look at His own son for both the cheater and your grandmother.

I am deeply hurt and affected by this website, and I don’t know why. I guess it just shocked me that infidelity was so vast. But, I also know not to assume that I would never do such a thing. No one is above cheating. I have to remain humble.

If anything, I hope that stuff like this is a wake-up call to people in the church. This is why discipleship, accountability, and praying is so, so important. For this millennial, it was a lesson.