Busting on Lafayette can get a bit boring after a while, so I'll switch things up and instead bust on what's easily the least popular color of Jolly Rancher. Even though I could go on and on about what an abomination of an idea this was, I'll exemplify my disdain for this atrocity of a flavor through a story.
Back in elementary school, Jolly Ranchers were something special. They meant far more than an arbitrary selection of candy flavors; they had the power to communicate how good of friends you were with someone, and, by corollary, how cool you were. Typically, on someone's birthday, they would bring in Jolly Ranchers (thanks to rules about bringing cupcakes and other treats). Their birthday was your judgment day, as your friendship would be tested and level indicated via the type of Jolly Rancher you got.
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5. Grape
Getting a Grape Jolly Rancher from someone was basically an insult: everyone knew that grape flavor was the least popular and least-liked flavor. It had the least buying power on the "underground Jolly Rancher" market we set up, and if you had a grape flavored Jolly Rancher, you were stuck with it for life (or until you threw it out, or mustered the courage to eat it). Nobody would want to trade ranchers with you, and as such, you might find yourself sitting alone at lunch for a day.
In all fairness, Grape really isn't as bad as I've made it out to be, but it's still a sub-par flavor. It consistently rates below all other flavors, showing at 16th on an online poll done by ranked.com, while all other classic flavors showed in the top 4. In addition, it took me 18 years to find someone who actually enjoys the grape jolly ranchers.
I will say, though, that in all fairness, grape is a very classic flavor of candy, and thus was a very "safe" flavor of Jolly Rancher to use. Unfortunately, I don't think it went as well as planned, but hey, at least consumers have 4 other great flavors to choose from.
4. Green Apple
Choosing between Green Apple and Watermelon was extremely difficult. I actually had to run a poll of 30 people just to verify my judgment, yet the results were clear. 20 people voted for Watermelon, while 10 voted for Green Apple. I didn't expect such a wide margin, but it only goes to show how polarizing Green Apple's flavor can be.
While far more liked than Grape (4th on Ranked.com's list as opposed to Grape's 16th), Green Apple struggles with the challenges of being an icky light green color and being a rather unorthodox flavor of candy. This is not to say that Green Apple is unheard of, but rather to say that it's less common than mainstay flavors like Cherry and Grape. To put it succinctly, you either like it or you'll hate it. It's a flavor that few really love, but some can tolerate, and thus, it deserves the number 4 spot on this list.
3. Watermelon
Watermelon is a very neutral and safe flavor for most people. It's difficult to find someone that really dislikes Watermelon, yet it consistently fails to top "Best Jolly Rancher Flavors" lists. The flavor is more orthodox than say, Green Apple, yet it doesn't pack the same punch as other flavors. It's the flavor of Jolly Rancher that causes the least controversy, and most people will tolerate it. Generally, kids back in elementary school would enjoy these, and you'd just be happy that you didn't get one of the "lower-tier" Jolly Ranchers. It wasn't something in high demand, but it was still a solid flavor to have.
The taste of watermelon is similar to that of cherry, but with a sweeter aftertaste. Hersey was very liberal in creating this flavor, as it tastes the least like its original fruit. Coloration for Watermelon isn't as much of a problem as it is for Green Apple, and thus overall, I think that as a very neutral, safe, and average flavor, Watermelon deserves the number 3 spot on this list.
2. Cherry
Trigger warning: This is where the controversy's really going to bubble over
I can hear the outcries already. For those who aren't aware, cherry's a very polarizing flavor, but it definitely has some die-hard supporters. It typically ranks high on online polls, which I think is partially due to its color and the fact that cherry is just a generally common flavor of candy. Those who don't favor Blue Raspberry will often be Cherry supporters, exploiting yet another Red/Blue division in society.
Unfortunately, like Grape, Cherry has a slight taste of medicinal flavor, as people often associate it with medicine. It doesn't suffer as badly, though, due to its better-liked coloration of red. It's honestly a flavor that's very similar to Green Apple: you'll either love cherry, or you'll hate it. Fortunately, Cherry supporters are very high in number, even giving the #1 flavor on this list some competition. It was for this reason that back in elementary school, Cherry ranchers would sell extremely well on our underground Jolly Rancher Market, ringing in multiples of lower-ranked candies on this list.
1. Blue Raspberry
Ah, here it is, the undisputed king of Jolly Ranchers. I'm pretty sure that everyone saw this one coming. Blue Raspberry is the number one classic flavor of Jolly Rancher, and with good reason. It has an excellent flavor, balancing a sweet yet sour taste, while at the same time providing excellent coloration. It's such an excellent flavor, and it doubles as my personal favorite.
Back in elementary school, you could legitimately use Blue Jolly Ranchers to buy social status. These were your tickets to becoming the "popular kid." If you were one of the lucky kids to get a blue Jolly Rancher on someone's birthday, everyone wanted to be your friend. Not only that, but you knew that the kid that gave you the blue raspberry rancher was your friend for life. You knew that your friendship was meant to be, and would stand the test of time (well, at least until their next birthday when the relationship would be tested again). All in all, though, blue raspberry is an excellent flavor that easily clinches the number one spot on this list.
Do you agree with this list? What are your personal favorite flavors of Jolly Ranchers? Leave your opinions in the comments below!
