Are you in the mafia?

No, but even if I was, I wouldn't tell you.

What do you do there?

Eat. Eat. Eat. And I am perfectly OK if that is the only thing I do when I am home from college.

I think I drove there once or twice.

Oh, really? I feel honored. Next time, you should check out some of the best restaurants, like Deninos or Angelina's.

Is everyone Italian?

Not even in my neighborhood.

Why is the toll so high?

Wrong person to ask. I don't have an answer for you.

I have taken the ferry once.

Really? You think the only thing Staten Island has to offer is the ferry?

What is there to do?

Eat. But more seriously, there are a ton of cultural institutions and historical landmarks; it is well-documented that Revolutionary Leaders like Benjamin Franklin met with important ministers from France and England at the Conference House on Hylan Boulevard. The meetings there were instrumental in establishing peace as well as forming the United States of America.

Does everyone there go to the gym/tanning/laundry?

No. Just the people you see on TV.

Does it smell there because of the dump?

No. There have been other things that have been said, like high cancer rates due to the landfill. However, the landfill was closed in 2001, which is currently being built into a park double the size of Central Park.

When you confuse Staten Island with Long Island.

Two totally different places. Long Island is not a part of New York City, they solve their problems on their own, while Staten Island abides by the city, which just means that Long Island pays higher taxes.

No, Staten Island is not "basically Jersey."

I probably could walk to New Jersey if I really wanted to, but that doesn't mean anything. Put me and my Jersey cousins side by side and you would think I am an alien.

No, not all Staten Islanders are Conservative and Racist.

OK, we all have like one Uncle that is going to vote for Trump and tell you at Christmas that he "tells it like it is," but that is just one person.

Do you live in a townhouse?

No. Staten Island is pretty small in size, but we find a way to make it work.

Do you have a pool?

As a matter of fact, I do not, so we are going to your house over the summer.

Have you ever watched "The Sopranos?"

I have watched a few episodes, but most 20-year-olds just see the memes posted on Instagram once in a while.

You're Italian but never have been to Italy?

NO. Not yet, but I am working on it, OK?

Don't correct me. Its not "Mozzarella," its "muuzarell."

Call it a cheap Italian accent or whatever you want. I will not pronounce the vowel at the end.

You are a hardcore Staten Islander.

Really? You probably think that because you have never been to Staten Island. In Staten Island, I am the "softest" Staten Islander. When I am away from home, I just happen to be proud of my culture as well as the good people who are working hard every day to make it a better place, especially the cops and firemen.