College is quickly approaching, which means we are either jumping up and down with excitement or crying because we’re seniors. As much fun we are about to have when we reunite with our friends and make questionable decisions, we are in the midst of packing. Which brings us to reminiscing about our pre-freshman days when we spent hours and hours going over everything we should bring. As we googled “college checklist” though, the search engines did not tell us what we really need. So I’m here to guide you or help remind you of all of the things you should have brought with you to college.
Bread crumbs (and/or Compass)
How the hell are you supposed to find your way back to your dorm/apartment, when you don’t even know where three of the dining halls or your world religion class is. Forget Google Maps and go buy that loaf of bread. Come on, go ahead and break up your Honeywheat, so you pull a Hansel and Gretel to find your way around campus.
Candlestick
Jack be quick. Jack be nimble. Jack can’t find his way back from the party without his candlestick. Melt some wax and bring a match because you will be wandering around aimlessly if you don’t have a candlestick to guide you back to your dorm. A phone is unreliable and will most likely be lost in a frat house, but a candlestick is retro and will never fail you. Sorry Apple.
Grandfather Clock
Time is infinite, but your class starts at 2 P.M. A grandfather clock is a statement piece for your college home. It may not be as elegant as Big Ben, and so what if it’s not digital? That chime when the clock strikes 12 will wake you up after a night out of partying and will never accidentally turn on silent.
Small Canoe and Poncho
People are buying raincoats and Bean Boots, but they’re still going to be drenched walking around campus. A small canoe will get you to class in reasonable time, even if it’s just around the river bend, A small canoe will keep you dry at all times. A small canoe will give you an arm workout. And a poncho is a necessary fashion statement.
Seeds
You’re going to get sick of campus food fast, so be proactive, help the environment and plant some seeds. Planted seeds will give you a reason to wake up every morning to check if your plant is alive and well AND to provide you food. Throw out your meal card because your small garden that sits in your windowsill will top off your hipster aesthetic and will provide you with a well balanced breakfast. Throw some seeds in some soil and watch your plant and health bloom. You’re not going to get your Vitamin C from some mediocre dining hall donuts.