Remember just a couple weeks ago when we were all making New Year's resolutions? When we vowed to eat less, drink less, smoke less, and work out more? I don't! In all seriousness, though, if you are one of the many people who are lying to themselves and their fitspo Pinterest boards, there's no better place to burn off your Perch fries than the Student Recreation Center, a "free" gym membership open to students. We all know getting the motivation to work out can be difficult, so I'll compare it to something else we can all relate to: our favorite TV mockumentary, "The Office."
When you go to try on your new party outfit and it doesn't zip up without squeezing you out the sides.
[Rips fabric.] Well, it may be time to go to the gym.
When you develop your unrealistic workout plan.
To burn the maximum amount of calories, of course.
When you have to walk a mile to get to the rec, but try to make the best of it.
If you have shitty workout music and good workout buddies, you can be as spazzy as you want.
When you finally get to the rec and realize you forgot your student ID.
[Screams internally.] [Considers not going back.]
When you get on the treadmill and try to look your best the whole time.
Not looking disgusting is a harder workout than the workout itself.
When you accidentally drop a weight and it makes the loudest noise imaginable.
And everyone looks. As if this moment isn't hard enough.
When someone sits on your machine before you have the chance to wipe it off.
That poor, unfortunate soul.
When the person working out next to you is keeps making sex noises.
And you try not to laugh/stare/ask what they're trying to prove.
When you see a beautiful gym rat pumping iron in front of you.
Hopefully he/she doesn't catch you staring.
When you make eye contact with said beautiful gym rat and they don't even smile.
And that cocky aloofness only makes him/her more attractive.
When you and your workout buddy check out awkward/hot people together.
You can't talk since you both have headphones in, so it's all in the eyes. Plus, it's more subtle that way.
When you add more weight/reps to your workout.
And you're so proud of you.
When you see your ex working out and avoid him/her at all costs.
"Let's walk around the track and take the back stairs."
When someone at the next machine tries to make conversation.
Headphones in = leave me alone.
When you try a new, Pinterest-inspired workout.
Box jumps, one-legged squats, and basically anything else that will make you look like an idiot are always included.
When a trainer interrupts your workout to "help you with your form".
I would rather do it wrong than be told I'm doing it wrong.
When you pass by a mirror and check out your newly-developed muscle tone.
It's shocking how much one workout can do (not).
When you walk in the locker room and there's a naked professor in there.
Just because you have access to this public gym does not mean the world needs to see your unkepmt bits...
When you go to the sauna and it's crowded af.
Let's pretend this isn't an awkward silence.
And finally, when you leave the gym and crave fast food.
Hey, you burned like 200 calories, it's OK. You earned it.
