My scars, emotional and physical, do not make me any more or any less beautiful. My tragic poetry is a cry for help, not a result of being more sensitive. Stop writing thinkpiece after thinkpiece about how "girls with depression love differently" and that depression can be a beautiful thing.
Depression is terrifying. Depression is an ugly, ugly thing. It can overtake anyone in the wrong circumstances. Depression is not a beautiful girl with a scar on her wrist and a single tear.
Depression is not leaving your bed for 16 hours because you're so fatigued you cannot think straight, let alone move anywhere. Depression is not cured by the love of another person. This isn't a Disney fairytale or a John Green book where the boy kisses the girl's scars and tells her he loves her and she promises to never to be sad again. It's your significant other begging you to eat something and being near tears because they're afraid that your sudden onset apathy will be the literal death of you.
Depression isn't a beautiful disease. It's not a gorgeous, twisted mind that makes you a more gentle and more sensitive person. It's deadly, it's scary. It encompasses every thought you have, it drags you down into the pit. It makes any motivation and ambition that is stored in your heart fly away temporarily until you can come back to reality. It's Doctors and medicine and people who don't think someone as "happy and funny as you" can have depression. It's not a fantasy, its a harsh reality.
We, as a society, need to stop romanticizing not only depression, but a multitude of mental health problems. We need to stop associating them with the beautiful stories that we associate with them, and accept them as the harsh reality they are for the people that have them. We often equate eating disorders, namely anorexia, with a beautiful thin model-esque young woman refusing a cupcake. Anorexia is much closer to someone accounting for every single calorie they've consumed, meticulously avoiding "unsafe foods" and exercising to make up the difference. Anxiety is not a pretty girl who keeps lists and gets high strung sometimes. Anxiety is having your fourth panic attack in a row because you can't bring yourself to the thought that you have to do the homework you've procrastinated on.
We need to become very real and honest about what these mental health issues mean for the people who have them. This isn't fun and games anymore. This isn't YA novel after YA novel that depicts the symptoms but not the consequences of what it means to be mentally ill. There's a common misconception that the best way to "cure" depression is to love someone so much that it goes away. This is completely ludicrous. Depression isn't a thing that "goes away," it's a dormant volcano that makes sure it erupts at the absolute worst time. It's assignments piling up and dirty bedrooms and skipped classes and obsession with Netflix and specific foods that make you feel comforted.
The sooner we stop romanticizing depression, the sooner we can actually help those who have it. You are no less beautiful with your scars, but your scars are not what make you beautiful. The most beautiful thing about people living with depression is their strength, resilience, and constant battle for life. The best way to handle depression, if you know someone with depression, is to accept them through the bad times, support them in the good times, encourage their treatment, and love them all the way through it, with no expectations that their depression is going anywhere because of your love.
Depression is an ugly thing, and it's up to humanity to learn to live with that, and accept depressed people anyway. Stop romanticizing the brokenness, and instead help them to pick up the pieces.
If you or someone you know is struggling from suicide ideation due to depression or any other mental illness, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255.
