Size matters. Ladies, you can try and tell us differently but you really aren’t fooling anybody. Which is also the reason why now that college is over I really need to lower my standards, but that’s an article for another time. All our lives, society has taught us that bigger is better. It’s why we idolize these giants that we see on the football field, wrestling ring, basketball court, even Sumo arenas. It’s why “gym selfies” have become the norm on social media, which really need to stop by the way. You people need to get over yourselves.

But this article isn’t about that. It’s about two of the better-known Davids in American folklore as opposed to the Goliaths; and we are here today to see who is the bigger of the little people.

Tyrion Lannister of “Game of Thrones” fame vs. Mini-Me from the "Austin Powers" movies.

I will do my best not to spoil anything from "Game of Thrones" since that is still an ongoing story, and there’s a significant portion of the population who aren’t caught up yet. However, I will make no effort to do this in regards to "Austin Powers." If you haven’t seen them I have no idea what you’re waiting for since you’ve had ample time to do so. That being said, I feel no sympathy for you.

Let’s start with the mental game.

He is one of the smartest people in all of "Game of Thrones," and is able to use his sharp wit and superior intellect to make up for his physical shortcomings. Mini-Me on the other hand is an exact clone of Dr. Evil except one-eighth his size. However while Dr. Evil is an evil genius, I’m not even 100 percent sure Mini-Me can speak English, or any language for that matter. Advantage Tyrion.

Now on to the physical aspect.

Tyrion is smart enough to know that he is severely over matched by the behemoths that roam around Westeros. This is why he takes more political roles than fighting ones, but on the off chance he does have to fight, the results tend to be a mixed bag. Mini-Me is a strong believer in the, “those who don’t adapt will perish” approach. When fighting International Man of Mystery Austin Powers, he adapted to the situation by crawling in Austin’s space suit, and taking the fight to him with close proximity, and even biting the aforementioned Power’s famed twig and giggle berries. Advantage Mini-Me.

Tied 1-1.

At the end of the day, both tend to choose the more honorable side of the argument, which makes them even more similar than the tie indicates. But the advantage has to go to Tyrion here since he is absolutely capable of ruling an entire kingdom, whereas Mini-Me’s focus tends to lie on protecting his chocolate. Plus, let’s be honest here, has there ever been a bigger beast in television history than Tyrion Lannister? He drinks and he knows things. It’s what he does. End of discussion.