7:30 AM

Wake up because your mother texted you about her weekend plans. Go back to sleep.

9:00 AM

Wake up again because the landscapers are inexplicably using the leaf blower right outside your window. Attempt to silence the incessant noise, but to no avail. Get up.

9:45 AM

Check the time. Realize you've spent 45 minutes watching YouTube videos. Decide to watch just one more because you've never wanted to learn about the history of the royal family in Uzbekistan more than right now.

10:25 AM

Force yourself to stand and traverse the twenty feet to the bathroom in order to shower.

10:45 AM

Get dressed. Watch an episode of Orange Is The New Black while you do your makeup. Get distracted by the show and pause applying makeup. Finish makeup.

Rummage through the fridge trying to find some sustenance. Settle on a handful of trail mix and some Oreos. Resume OITNB.

11:50 AM

Begin fifth consecutive episode of OITNB. Start searching through all the actors' IMDb pages. Check time. Remember you were going to try and write today.

Open Final Draft. Stare at the blindingly blank page. Has this screen always been this bright? Spend five minutes adjusting your laptop brightness.

12:15 PM

Spend another ten minutes finding the proper writing music.

12:25 PM

Go back to your blank Final Draft document. Relieve yourself from the unbearable blinking cursor and consult your outline. Question the entire thing. Honestly, what was I thinking writing a dystopian crime thriller? Type "FADE IN." Pat yourself on the back.

Begin to type your first slug line. Look up "how to format a slug line," just to reassure yourself you're doing it right.

12:28 PM

Begin typing action: "A cold, dim office. CHIEF GREGORY SMITH, a 50-year-old who looks like he should be running a Fortune 500 company and not an accounting firm, types away at a disintegrating typewriter." Wait, I don't like the name Gregory. How about Frank? Or Harold? Jeff? Michael? Okay, Michael is good. I'll use that. Continue on page one.

1:30 PM

Check the time. Realize it's been an hour and you've written three pages. Decide to have a change of scenery. Walk over to the nearest coffee shop.

1:50 PM

Grab your coffee and set up camp in a secluded corner.

Reopen Final Draft. Stare at the unfinished third page. Switch over to Facebook.

2:30 PM

Realize you've gone down a dangerous rabbit hole. Close Facebook.

4:55 PM

Look up from your claimed corner of the coffee shop. Begin people watching.

He looks like he works in some swanky office building where everyone looks like a supermodel. Oh my god, her shoes are amazing! I wonder where she got them. Probably some really cool vintage shop in Silver Lake or something.

5:30 PM

Realize you're starting to get hungry. Consider what type of food you want to get delivered. Mexican? Pizza? Thai? No, I had Thai last week.

6:00 PM

Finally decide to just make something at home. Settle down with a bowl of soup and some pita chips. I'll watch another episode of OITNB while I'm eating. I deserve a break.

6:45 PM

Take a moment to process that cliffhanger you just witnessed. Alright, one more; I have to know what happens to Sophia.

7:30 PM

Decide to call your sister to discuss something that you remembered from 2007.

9:45 PM

Finally hang up with your sister. Decide to watch a movie to help you with your story structure.

12:00 AM

Finish movie. Check time. Decide you're exhausted after a long day of work. I wrote three and a half pages ; I'd call that a productive day. Decide to call it a night.

Dream about attending the premiere of your dystopian crime thriller, starring the main cast of OITNB.