It's been a year since I've been in a choir, and man, do I miss it! There's nothing better than meeting up with a bunch girls in your free time to sing some complicated classical arias in different languages (unless you hate singing, in which case, that's probably the worst possible way to spend your free time).
For someone who sang with choirs for 11 years, it becomes a way of life that isn't easy to leave behind or forget. That's why I've taken this opportunity to compile a list of common choir experiences that everyone—and I do mean everyone—who's been in a choir can relate to.
1. The day starts with warm-ups, during which everyone is shown up by the girl who's weirdly good at solfège.
Solfège: you know, the "Do Re Me" scale. How is that one girl so good at it? She's like Maria Von Trapp reincarnated, busting out those hand signs like she's in the Solfège Olympics.
2. Next, the director says to take out a certain piece, and the reaction of the choir strictly depends on the speed/number of parts of the song.
When the piece is fresh, less is better. When the piece is old, more is better.
3. After about 10 minutes, the girl who has appointed herself Second in Command has already "shushed" the group four times.
It honestly seems like she wants everyone to resent her.
4. The director stops the piece and some sopranos on the other side of the room continue to sing, as if they're being subtle.
You are singing out loud. We can hear you!
5. The girls who also have band experience are the only ones paying close attention to the exact number of beats per note.
We're probably so obnoxious and they're so patient with us.
6. The director announces that you'll be performing an old favorite and everyone loses their freaking minds.
This also applies if the director whips out a piece from a Broadway musical or a Disney movie. If it's from both, we have to collectively go see a therapist.
7. Two girls are talking to each other at a conversational volume as the director works on the soprano two part.
They couldn't even do us all the courtesy of whispering.
8. I suddenly become conflicted when, halfway through, Second in Command "shushes" the loud-talking girls.
I never want to be on the "shusher's" side, but they were annoying me, too.
(But come on, it was seven "shushes" in 45 minutes!)
9. The one person who knows the language of the piece we're singing instructs the entire class on the right pronunciation.
She's saving us from ourselves.
10. Obligatory "Wicked" reference.
This is followed by the obligatory reference to pop stars who are not singing with proper technique.
11. It's apparently some girl's birthday, and no one knows how old she is but the whole room instantly breaks into a harmonized version of "Happy Birthday."
The harmonization of "Happy Birthday" is in our blood. Join a choir and it'll enter your bloodstream, too.
12. We all leave with a surge of endorphins and a desire to keep on singing.
But we're exhausted and definitely want to go home.
Ah, choir. I'll come back to you soon.
