It's the most wonderful time of the year...unless you're a college student.
Yes, the holiday season is here, but so is finals week. Here are the different types of finals every college student encounters.
1. The sit-down, bubble test, cumulative exam.
I think I speak for college students everywhere when I say this is absolutely the worst type of final exam. It requires memorization (groans) and is reminiscent of the SATs (shudder). I don't know about you guys, but the stress of going in and sitting down at an empty desk with nothing but a #2 pencil, one of those stupid Scantron bubble sheets, stupid Blue Books, and a very intimidating packet containing questions on class material since the very first day of lecture gives me anxiety just to think about it. No, thank you.
2. Final paper.
My personal preference is the final paper. Take everything you've learned all semester and throw it into a Word document. Toss in some quotes and a Works Cited and you're good to go. You can use all your notes, your textbooks, and Google searching that your heart desires. No need to memorize anything! Plus, spell check is your friend.
3. Final project.
Not as straightforward as final papers, but just as easy to complete — unless your professor somehow still believes in the dreaded group projects, in which case I am sorry and will pray for you. Other people's work, regardless of the work quality, should not impact your grade, especially for a final! Sorry not sorry!
4. Final presentation.
I hate getting up and speaking in front of the class, but that's just me. I would rather go home and snuggle up in my dorm by myself with a blanket and my laptop and work my butt off on a final paper than take an index card up to the front of the classroom and talk to my peers. I'll pass... (hopefully!)
5. Take-home exams.
There is no greater joy in a college student's life than a take-home exam. It's essentially a free pass to use Google, your notes, your books, and your peers, to get the right answers. A take-home exam is the equivalent of an easy A. Either your professor is admitting they taught you nothing all semester, or they are just really cool...either way, thank you, professor!
6. Online exams.
Take my exam on my laptop in the comfort of my own dorm and access to Google? I'll take it!
7. The kind of final you have to go to class for on final exam day just to turn it in and leave.
Professors who do this are actually the worst, especially at 8 a.m. Why should we have to get up, get ready, and go to class just to turn in something we already completed, and then turn around and go back to our dorms? This is the Internet age. There's no reason we can't just submit it electronically. Let's get with the times, people.
8. In-class essay.
Again, reminiscent of the SATs (don't remind me). You go to class on final exam day, and for your English or Writing class final, you have to write an essay in the time allotted for the final exam. It's not as bad as the bubble tests, but almost. It's almost as stressful, and just as pointless. Who cares if it takes you 40 minutes or 40 hours to write a good paper? As long as it's a good essay, why does it matter?
9. Final discussion.
Easy peasy. You go to class and just have a final discussion seminar about the semester and the class as a whole. This is often given by the chillest professor because they acknowledge that the class did nothing, but requires some sort of closure, like a mutual breakup. It's almost sad to leave.
10. The best type of final is no final at all!
VERY rare, but a treasure. Be thankful if this type of final blesses you at all during your college years.
Good luck to you all on finals week
