I’ve always wanted to be the person that casually says, “Oh yeah I just got back from my yoga class.” with a glistening glow on my face. This semester I decided to make it a reality by ambitiously signing up for yoga three times a week. After attending a few of these classes I’ve come to realize that the “glisten” I envisioned is more like a full-on sweat.
Aside from the fact that yoga is no joke, I’ve also come to make some observations about my classmates. Here is a list of the five types of people you will encounter in any yoga class you take:
1. The old man
When you sit down next to this fifty plus gentleman you will silently laugh to yourself. Think again, this guy is serious about his mat time. He will be prepared with his own blocks, water, and towel. He will also outperform you on every pose. Never doubt the old guy.
2. The "nonstopper"
Out of the corner of your insecure eye, you will spot the "nonstopper." This is the woman with perfect form and fluid motion who goes into the pose before the instructor even says what it’s going to be. Meanwhile, you are tipping over because moving your hand to wipe away sweat does not work when you are doing “reverse mountain” or any number of balancing poses. It’s okay, one day you will be like her (probably not).
3. The groupies
You will recognize them by their bopping ponytails and constant giggling in the back of the room. They are just having a good time with each other and aren’t taking anything too seriously despite their dedication to living a "yogi" lifestyle. You may even catch the Nonstopper shooting them an annoyed look because they are sort of posers in the eyes of the longtime yoga practitioners.
4. The guy who hasn't taken a shower in a year
You will smell him before you see him. In the true spirit of “mindfulness and peace,” this man has let all worldly problems go; including the fact that everyone requires a bar of soap every now and again. If you can get past the stench he’s probably worth having a conversation with
5. The person who has no idea what they are doing (a.k.a me)
This is the person who looks at the instructor while in “downward dog” anticipating the next excruciating pose. They are repeating in their head the entire time “You can do this” while trying to ignore the “why the heck did you sign up for yoga?” They sort of hate everything they are doing but also enjoy it at the same time.
