Well, it's that time of year again. Summertime. Luckily, for us locals that reside permanently in a beach town, summer doesn't last forever. Even if it seem like it does, it's just three months. Three months filled with sunscreen, coconut fragranced things and lots of bad sunburns ... and tourists. There isn't just one type of tourist, though. There is always a broad spectrum — brought to all the locals for their people-watching/viewing pleasure.
1. The Game Players
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Brought to you by tipsy, college-aged jocks. Normally with a beer in one hand and a spike ball in the other. May also be seen approaching random girls tanning on towels.
2. The Candid Photo Shoot Girls
Not just tourists, but all the locals as well. Need a new Instagram picture to make your life look way more exciting than it actually is? Just take a trip to the beach.
3. The Ones Still Feeding The Seagulls
Unfortunately, from May-September, the seagulls are on a "strict diet" of Cheetos, Cheese Puffs and white bread from all of the tourists who think these pesky birds are cute. News flash: They are not cute. And if you keep feeding them, they will just steal your food right out of your hand.
4. Mr. and Mrs. "I'm Too Cool For Sunscreen"
Nothing beats a good day at the beach ... other than watching tourists progressively fry throughout the day. It is 100+ degrees. You are not too cool for sunscreen.
5. The Cautious Couple
Perhaps the exact opposite of the "too cool for sunscreen" couple. Most likely a family that doesn't get out much, and if they do it's not in the sun. I encourage your safety precautions, but please, I can smell your sunscreen from a mile away.
6. The Family With The Tent(s)
I'm so happy that you're family of 10 took up half of my secluded beach spot with your obnoxious rainbow tents.
Most importantly ... and my personal favorite:
7. The Family With The Water Shoes
Nothing beats looking back at old, family vacation photos and seeing that you sported hot pink water shoes for a week straight. It must have been forced upon you, that is the only explanation.
Good luck, locals. May this summer be ever in your favor.
