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Student Life

I Named My Showers

Scrub a dub dub.

Allison Keating

Mar 05, 2019

University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

138

Pexels

Showers are necessary for moisturizing my frizz ball hair that might as well be a stack of hay, toning my blonde color, thinking, warming up on a cold day, oh, and, I almost forgot, cleaning myself up! I don't know about you, but I have a few different kinds of showers. One day while daydreaming, I decided to name them, so, here goes.

1. The "I Got Stuff To Do So I'll Scrub My Body For Like Three Seconds" shower.

It's almost midnight and I have sorority points to get by the end of the week, two 19th birthdays to celebrate, eight hours of sleep to catch up on, a "911" episode to watch, and four assignments due by 11:58:59 p.m. Also, I should hit the gym, and I just remembered I have a project due in two days. Have I eaten yet? I'm tired. Let's get this shower over with.

2. The "Whew I Stink" shower where I scrub my feet about six times.

I forgot to bring my loofah the past couple showers, I've worn the same Adidas sneakers for the past week, and I woke up sweating in these hot dorms (even though my roommate and I opened the window all the way in the middle of winter while it's 10 degrees outside and blasted the fan) so I need to really scrub today with extra soap. That is, if I haven't run out of soap yet. I might have to borrow my roommate's soap since I don't have a car, don't want to pay for shipping, nor do I want to take a 16-minute bus ride, walk three blocks in the cold, wait in the cold for a bus, then ride 16 minutes back.

*Later in the shower* Oh, oh no, I forgot my loofah. Again. I ALREADY GOT IN THE SHOWER. Time to FaceTime my roommate and ask her to bring it to me.

3. The "Oh No, It's Time To Wash My Hair" shower so I gather up my products and pray for a good outcome.

I go as long as possible without washing my hair to be totally honest. Gotta pre-poo for a while. Gotta leave my conditioner in for a while. Maybe deep condition for a bit. Maybe even tone with my purple shampoo for like 30 minutes. I might as well shave while I'm already taking forever in here, but I'm going to run out of razors soon. I need to pass the time, so I tend to jam out in these showers (and waste a lot of water because it's too cold to turn it off while I wait).

I can't afford these products. I can't afford to shower.

4. The classic "Debate Life" shower.

Why did I do that yesterday? What DID I even do yesterday?? What am I going to major in????

You see, showering is a blast. It's warm me time that doesn't involve dirtying clothes that will need to be cleaned, I can do or say whatever I want without judgment, and I come out squeaky clean.

Which shower will it be tonight?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

I Named My Showers

Scrub a dub dub.

1. The ​​​"I Got Stuff To Do So I'll Scrub My Body For Like Three Seconds"​​​ shower.

2. The "Whew I Stink" shower where I scrub my feet about six times.

3. The "Oh No, It's Time To Wash My Hair" shower so I gather up my products and pray for a good outcome.

4. The classic "Debate Life" shower.

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10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

Money

Socks

Blankets

Gift Cards

Hoodies and Sweatpants

Pajamas

Candles

A Fish

CDs

Movie Tickets

1. The "I Got Stuff To Do So I'll Scrub My Body For Like Three Seconds" shower.

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