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Student Life

I Named My Showers

Scrub a dub dub.

Allison Keating
Mar 05, 2019
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
138
I Named My Showers
Pexels

Showers are necessary for moisturizing my frizz ball hair that might as well be a stack of hay, toning my blonde color, thinking, warming up on a cold day, oh, and, I almost forgot, cleaning myself up! I don't know about you, but I have a few different kinds of showers. One day while daydreaming, I decided to name them, so, here goes.

1.  The ​​​"I Got Stuff To Do So I'll Scrub My Body For Like Three Seconds"​​​ shower.

It's almost midnight and I have sorority points to get by the end of the week, two 19th birthdays to celebrate, eight hours of sleep to catch up on, a "911" episode to watch, and four assignments due by 11:58:59 p.m. Also, I should hit the gym, and I just remembered I have a project due in two days. Have I eaten yet? I'm tired. Let's get this shower over with.

2.  The "Whew I Stink" shower where I scrub my feet about six times.

I forgot to bring my loofah the past couple showers, I've worn the same Adidas sneakers for the past week, and I woke up sweating in these hot dorms (even though my roommate and I opened the window all the way in the middle of winter while it's 10 degrees outside and blasted the fan) so I need to really scrub today with extra soap. That is, if I haven't run out of soap yet. I might have to borrow my roommate's soap since I don't have a car, don't want to pay for shipping, nor do I want to take a 16-minute bus ride, walk three blocks in the cold, wait in the cold for a bus, then ride 16 minutes back.

*Later in the shower* Oh, oh no, I forgot my loofah. Again. I ALREADY GOT IN THE SHOWER. Time to FaceTime my roommate and ask her to bring it to me.

3.  The "Oh No, It's Time To Wash My Hair" shower so I gather up my products and pray for a good outcome.

I go as long as possible without washing my hair to be totally honest. Gotta pre-poo for a while. Gotta leave my conditioner in for a while. Maybe deep condition for a bit. Maybe even tone with my purple shampoo for like 30 minutes. I might as well shave while I'm already taking forever in here, but I'm going to run out of razors soon. I need to pass the time, so I tend to jam out in these showers (and waste a lot of water because it's too cold to turn it off while I wait).

I can't afford these products. I can't afford to shower.

4.  The classic "Debate Life" shower.

Why did I do that yesterday? What DID I even do yesterday?? What am I going to major in????

You see, showering is a blast. It's warm me time that doesn't involve dirtying clothes that will need to be cleaned, I can do or say whatever I want without judgment, and I come out squeaky clean.

Which shower will it be tonight?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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