For some funny reason, we always seem to encounter the most interesting people on airplanes.
Booking a flight now is like signing yourself up for a free show, featuring a mix of weary travelers, way-too-energetic kids, angry passengers, and nervous wrecks. It's quite the group and the more you fly, the more you begin to notice the recurring types of people on a flight.
The show Parks and Recreation stars a very diverse cast, in terms of personalities and roles... much like the passengers on an airplane! If we were to relate the types of people we encountered on every flight to members of the Parks and Rec cast, it'd go something like this.
1. "If the Lord had intended for us to fly..."- Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson is the somewhat elderly gentleman sitting as close to the aisle as possible, telling any and every one who passes by his philosophy on why airplanes are an abomination. He was "forced to" travel in these horrific conditions, due to some unfortunate mix-up and now he maintains a death grip on his armrests as the plane takes off. When the flight is over, he will get up shakily and declare to everyone around him, "Thank God, we're alive!"
2. "So where's your family from? Tell me everything!"- Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope is the Chatty Cathy of the airplane. Even if the people sitting next to her are HARDCORE signaling that they don't want to talk, she will attempt to initiate conversation in whatever way possible. She'll make sure to tell you about her five grandchildren that she's going to go visit, their names and ages, the schools they go to, and intimate details that you probably shouldn't know about...
3. "If my headphones are in, it means I don't want you to talk to me"- April Ludgate
April Ludgate is the angsty college student being forced to fly home for Thanksgiving break and the thought of any human interaction is just too much to handle. She has her hood up over her ears, her headphones in, and she's facing as far away from every other person as possible. The flight attendant doesn't even bother asking her if she wants a drink, for fear she'll be met with a death glare.
4. "Hey girl, how you doin'?"- Tom Haverford
Tom Haverford is the one guy you hope with all you have that you don't run into. This is the weird, kind of creepy man in his thirties who flirts with whatever girl he deems worthy within the span of his flight time. He'll hit her up with a "hey cutie, where you from?" or a "you got set plans while you're here?" It's flattering for two seconds, but it goes south real quick. It's definitely intriguing to watch, though.
5. "I'm going to read this book very intensely so you don't keep hitting on me"- Ann Perkins
Ann Perkins is the victim of creepy, flirty guy's advances. This is the pretty, innocent girl on the plane who is just trying to enjoy the flight and get back home at a decent hour but is always hit with unwelcome attention. She quite literally buries her nose in a book to ward off all the weirdos, and she might even pull an April and stick some headphones in to really get the message across.
6. "Guys, check out the snack menu"- Andy Dwyer
Little Andy Dwyer is the seven-year-old boy who still can't get over the fact that airplanes are cool enough to offer snacks. He's really fidgety during the whole flight and when he finally gets his Cheeze-its, he munches as loudly as he can to make sure everyone KNOWS that he has Cheeze-its. He'll walk up and down the aisles and wave at passengers just to make his presence known. Some people think he's annoying and some think he's adorable, but he's too preoccupied with himself to notice.
7. "How many paper airplanes do you think I can get away with throwing before I'm caught?"- Ben Wyatt
Ben Wyatt is the 12-year old nerdy kid who appreciates the irony in making a paper airplane while he's flying in one. He's bored out of his mind and just looking for something to pass the time, so he uses the paper bags in the seat pockets in front of him and aims his aircraft towards someone's unsuspecting shoulder. He'll snicker and throw about 2 or 3 of these until he's reprimanded either by his parents or the flight attendant. Either way, he's pretty proud of himself... until he has to find another activity to keep him busy.
8. "Uh uh, don't touch the Michael Kors"- Donna Meagle
Donna Meagle is the lady who travels in style, no matter how long it takes her to get through security or how uncomfortable 4-inch pumps are. She gets on the plane carrying her Michael Kors and sits down, with her head held high. She pulls out her iPad when the flight begins and makes eye contact with no one for the remainder of the trip. Heaven help us all if Ben makes her the target of his paper airplane flying escapade.
9. "I really hope this doesn't upset my stomach. I have a very delicate immune system."- Chris Traeger
Chris Traeger, with his perfectly balanced immune system that could be set off by just one sneeze, is the middle-aged man who truly gets on the flight armed. He's got his neck pillow, his motion sickness pills, his altitude medicine, his blood pressure-regulating wristbands, his chewing gum. He's more prepared for anything than even the pilot! You just can't talk to him... or touch him... or look at him.
10. "Excuse me... excuse me... sorry I have to go to the bathroom... excuse me..."- Jerry Gergich
Oh Jerry, Jerry, Jerry... Jerry is the guy everyone hates who for some reason has to take about 10 bathroom breaks per flight. Now Jerry's kind of a big dude so this means when he gets up, the WHOLE ROW gets up and they are not too happy about it. You'll see Jerry walking up the aisle pretty much the whole flight and you'll have a good chuckle... unless he's sitting next to you.
