So many of us are guilty of allowing toxic people to infiltrate our lives and stopping us from being happy or pursuing a certain job, etc. I think the key in being able to get rid of those negative and selfish people from your life is being able to identify who these people are in the first place.

1. The “friend”

Ever have the friend who couldn’t care less about what you are going through in your life? They are so wrapped up in telling you about what is going on in their life that they conveniently always forget to ask you how you are.

These same people tend to also be the friend who never asks you to hang out - you always must ask them and most likely have to reschedule a couple of times because, surprise! They forgot about your plans the first time and are asking for a raincheck. While we are on the topic of fake friends, if you hang out with a group of people and you all secretly have a lot of drama and problems with one another, but all still pretend like you are friends, that is not the group of people you should be hanging out with.

These people are NOT your friends and you need to stop making them a priority in your life.

2. The “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”

Let me make myself very clear. If your partner has to put restrictions on you because that is how they believe you two should interact with one another, LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP. Your partner shouldn’t be telling you where you can or cannot go, what you can or cannot wear and what you should or shouldn’t do in your life.

Further, if your partner is holding you back from your other friends, your family members or even from your school/ work, you need to get out of this relationship. Your partner may be dealing with a lot of their own personal struggles and as much as you may want to fix them and be their saving grace, that is not your job if, in the end, you are the one getting hurt the most.

3. The “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” continued

If you are pursuing someone in your life romantically, there comes a point where a decision on where the relationship is going needs to be made. If the person you are with is not bringing up this conversation and it has been several months, we have a problem. I wouldn’t say that the person you are pursuing is toxic, but they sure are wasting your time which means they may meet the criteria of exiting your life permanently. It’s time to sit down and have a conversation.

On the other hand, if you are friends with someone and all they talk about is hooking up with you and put you in uncomfortable situations that involve pressuring you to be with them intimately, you need to make your stance on your relationship very clear. If you just want to be friends with them and they aren’t understanding every time you tell them no, GET RID OF THEM. They are just trying to use you and you don’t need that in your life.

4. The “family member”

I know the saying goes blood is thicker than water. However, sometimes your family does not always have your back. Family members can be selfish and it is your responsibility to distance yourself from those members who are just “looking out for your best interest”.

So, to the uncle who tells you that you don’t really need to go to college because you are a girl or that cousin who says that you shouldn’t pursue a certain degree because it won’t make as much money, take what they are saying and put it in one ear and out the other. We can’t get rid of the family but we sure can ignore their mean and insensitive advice.

5. The “stranger”

This category is for everyone else you meet in your life that is trying to bring you down so that you cannot meet your full potential. You have the power to shape your destiny in your life and I believe that if someone that you interact with is throwing negative energy at you to bring you down, you need to leave them alone in their life and not associate anymore.

Sometimes disassociating can be difficult, especially if you work together or are family, but to be honest, there is always a way to make it known that you are not okay by the way someone is treating you and that you are not going to tolerate it.