The invention of the group chat is both a wonderful blessing and (sometimes) a horrible curse. You can connect with all of your favorite people at once. It doesn't matter where in the world they are at that moment, or what they're doing, or even who they're hanging out with (instead of you). It's a great way to connect with others, and I'll admit, the only reason that I got an iPhone (besides emojis). Every friend group has one. Hell, maybe even more than one. There's probably one for the girls, and the guys, and your entire friend group to share their shenanigans. Over time it sort of snowballs as you add friends, adopt strays, and welcome significant others.
Through this ever-changing dynamic, different types of characters start to emerge in the group chat. This combination of personality types makes for constant hilarity, unbelievable antics, and warm fuzzy group-love. Which one are you?
1. The One Who Works All The Time
They work weird hours and can most certainly almost NEVER hang out, unless it's in the middle of the night. Of course, with your crew, that may very well be possible. They work weekends, holidays, sleep during the day, and work at night...but they're always down to party if they manage to snag one day off.
2. The Stoner
The chilliest of the chill. They love good music, good food, and may enjoy a good old fashioned occasional recreational habit. They are the designated DJ, the go-to snack expert, and the goof that everyone loves to have at a party.
3. The Hype One Who Goes To School Far Away
They were crazy enough to get out of your hometown and managed to make it to a school only moderately far away. They can come home for breaks, but likely not weekends, and the group chat will live for tales of their crazy school antics and highly anticipate their return so more f*ckery can occur.
4. The Mom
This is the character who can't help themselves. Their top priority is the safety of the group. They make sure you've got a safe way home and someone looking out for you. They are super proud of your every accomplishment and scold you when you don't check in.
5. The QT
They're the one that everyone adores. They're the best blend of everything that's sweet and spice and sometimes (not) nice. There's a special place in everyone's heart for them. You'd do anything for them, and they'd do anything for you.
6. The One Who Makes Jokes Because He Hates Everyone (And Himself)
Self-explanatory. This one makes self-deprecating jokes that will have you crying actual tears, clutching your sides because while the jokes are at their own expense, it's still the funniest d*mn thing you'll hear that day.
7. The One Who Takes The Joke Too Far
The jokes are funny...until someone takes them too far. You thought you were talking about starving college students and all of a sudden you're talking about the genocide of an entire race and someone's heil-ing Hitler. Everything's fun and games until the joke gets turned on you.
8. The Storyteller
They can make the most mundane day into a fantastical and hysterical retelling that will have you in stiches. Their sarcasm, tendency to exaggerate, general self-loathing, and charismatic nature make them the perfect storyteller for the group.
9. The One Who Makes Everyone Hang Out
This is the one who doesn't let anyone get away with slacking on group-bonding. They'll magically find a day where nearly everyone can attend the party and turn it into a Skype-drinking session for those who cannot. They make sure everyone remembers the importance of friends (okay, at this point, they're family).
10. The Grandma
This one never wants to leave the house. They don't like going out and they don't like coming over to party, not when they'd rather stay at home drinking cocoa and watching movies by the fire with a pup on their lap. That's what the one who makes everyone hang out is for. And yet you still love them, because every once and a while, when they make it out they are the life of the party.
11. The Crazy One Who Moved Out Of State And Goes Too Hard When Home
Similar to the hype one who goes to school far away, there's usually at least one person in the group who lives impossibly far away. You see them maybe twice a year, when they can convince the military to let them go home for the holidays, or scrounge up enough cash to fly back. No matter where they are, though, they're still part of the family. They were there from the very beginning, and despite the distance, you'll never lose them. Besides, who else is going to black out at the pregame?
12. The Silent One
This is the watcher-- the scroller-- if you will. This person rarely speaks, but reads every text, sees every picture, and laughs just as much as the rest of you. They're the more reserved one of the group, who appreciates their friend's hilarity but doesn't engage.
13. The Savage One With No Chill
They're the ones who text the group chat at two in the afternoon to say they accidentally got hammered on Jameson at their cousin's sixth birthday party. They're also the ones who say what's on their mind and don't hold back. They'll be the first ones at a party, knocked out on the couch, because they started off with four shots while every one else drank a beer. But that's exactly why you love them.
My group chat is comprised of twelve of my closest, most valued friends, and we represent every single one of these types (if not more than one simultaneously). We've been called the KY Jelly Club, Thotchester, Alien Orgy, Round Peg Square Holes, and we are currently the Bearded Clams. These are the people you send individual drunk videos to when you can't be together, engage in meme and gif wars, and talk about any and everything with. They lift you up when you're feeling down, collectively piece together drunken nights you don't remember, and share in your every success and epic failure.
We have survived high school, college, the military, separation, distance, music festivals, and probably enough nights of chronic alcoholism that we all should have died three times over by now. But I wouldn't trade any of that. These people are my best friends. I can go to them when I'm having a bad day and immediately twelve people will be there to support me, cheer me up, and talk me through my problems. You have them too.
Now go tell them you f*cking love them.
