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The 12 Types Of People You See At Denny's At 1 A.M.

America's diner is always open...

Celah Convis

Jul 30, 2019

Eastern Michigan University

168

The 12 Types Of People You See At Denny's At 1 A.M.

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Anyone who's been to Denny's past midnight knows that it ranks with airports and Costco's for the most Gothic of our American Liminal Spaces. Here are the 12 types of people you are bound to see at a Denny's when you visit them in the witching hours.

1. The waitstaff that deserves better

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Let me just put this one out there first: the waitstaff working the night shift at Denny's deserve better. Maybe they have classes during the day, or a second job, or family responsibilities, but whatever landed them in a Denny's at 1:00 AM, they deserve a 25% tip.

2. The family with very young children, which seems wrong

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They're behaving exactly as they would in a McDonald's at noon, except it's past midnight, and shouldn't they be asleep?

3. The crammer

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that college students in search of a place to study will find one. Denny's may not seem like the obvious choice, but they can keep that coffee coming all night long.

4. The dysfunctional family

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This is the family that comes into the restaurant visibly upset with one another, and tensions and voices rise until you have to shout over them just so your waiter can take your drink order.

5. The stoner

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This is probably the most obvious one, and there's probably more than one stoner per Denny's when it gets late.

6. The normal-looking couple

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One of the most jarring sights of all, the fact that this couple has nothing odd about them makes you all the more suspicious.

7. The children of the corn

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They probably like breakfast food too.

8. The moth

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He's just flying around, minding his own business..

9. The out-of-state family

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This family is clearly passing through. They'd like to get out of here as quickly as possible, but their five-year-old probably woke up screaming about being hungry.

10. The frat boys

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These are the freshman frat boys who couldn't find a legal friend to buy them alcohol, so they're eating pancakes. Of course, they'll go back and tell everybody what a wild night out they had.

11. The rowdy theatre kids

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God bless and protect you if you happen to go to Denny's the same night as a group of theatre kids celebrating their opening night. Anytime you go to a Denny's past 10, bring a pair of ear plugs, just in case.

12. You

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Well, you're there, aren't you? Watching all these people? As if you're not one of them, too?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 12 Types Of People You See At Denny's At 1 A.M.

America's diner is always open...

1. The waitstaff that deserves better

2. The family with very young children, which seems wrong

3. The crammer

4. The dysfunctional family

5. The stoner

6. The normal-looking couple

7. The children of the corn

8. The moth

9. The out-of-state family

10. The frat boys

11. The rowdy theatre kids

12. You

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

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