I am a brother of Kappa Kappa Psi and a sister of Zeta Phi Beta. I pledged KKPsi in Fall 2014, and joined Zeta in May 2016. Since joining the latter, I have run into a few problems. See, many people think my problem would be balancing the two organizations, but that’s honestly the least of my problems. My main problem is the negative things I have heard or have been told since joining Zeta.
- “One of them is going to fall by the wayside.”
Yes, one will fall by the wayside...if I let it. It’s all in my heart. I have so much love for both organizations, that to let one sit on the backburner would be breaking my own heart. I wouldn’t have joined them both if I was going to show favoritism. Telling me that I will hold one higher than the other is like telling a mother of two that no matter what she does, one child will always be her favorite.
- “What if they both have an event at the same time?”
I have been asked this multiple times. My answer is simple. KKPsi tends to have events during the day due to band, recitals, or other factors. Zeta tends to have events during the evening or the night. That aside, if I knew there was an event going on for KKPsi at the exact same time as Zeta’s event, I would see if I am severely needed for one or the other. Whichever organization needs me more is the event I will mainly participate in. I say mainly because nine times out of ten, as small as our campus is, I will be able to either bounce between events, or at least do what I need to do for one, and attend the other. Also, the people in both organizations are very understanding, so asking permission to sit out on one event wouldn’t be a huge issue.
- “You’re gonna love KKPsi more because it came first.”
Actually, no. I am going to love them equally. Love is not so much a feeling as it is a choice. If I have in my mind that I am not as passionate about one organization as the other, then of course, I’ll care for one more than the other. Because I refuse to feed into favoritism, that is highly unlikely. Also, I have different reasons as to why I love the two so greatly. If I have separate reasons for my admiration, there will be no competition between the two. It’s like comparing apples to oranges.
- “People will know you as one or the other. Never both.”
I honestly don’t see how that’s a huge problem, but okay. As for this one, it’s easily solved. A girl approached me and asked me about joining Zeta. She looked down at my KKPsi bracelet and said “Oh I’m sorry! I thought you were that one girl in Zeta Phi Beta!” I laughed and said “No, I am. I can be in both because one is service, and the other is social.” Then we had a good talk about what she needs to do to become a Zeta. I’d say it went pretty well and that she now knows me as a member of both. If people know me as a Zeta or a Psi, not both, literally all I have to do is say “Oh no, I’m a member of both!” and that “problem” is solved.
- “What happens if you’re at a party and both of them are strolling?”
This is an easy one. All I really have to do is (A.) change my shirt, or (B.) just don’t wear letters to a party. I can just look fly at the party and jump in line! “Oh, but you’ll be too tired to stroll with both.” PUH-LEASE, baybee!!! I will get in both lines, strut like a fool, and pass out when I get to the house! If the party is jumpin, and my brothers and sisters are strollin, I’m about to be tired anyway!
- “Why aren’t you wearing these letters today?”
Maybe because I don’t feel like wearing any letters today? Maybe because all my letter shirts are waiting to be washed? Maybe because I woke up and didn’t think for one second about what shirt I would wear that morning. I’m not going to wear letter shirts every single day. The most I have ever worn a letter shirt was this past week, and that was only because it was KKPsi’s Recruitment WeeKK. If you’re going to judge my involvement based on how many times I wear a shirt, then you’re going to be a tad confused.
- “Why can’t you ever be at [insert organization’s function]?”
Well probably because that particular event always occurs when I have class or when I am doing something for band. I kind of can’t just dip out on class or band (which is still technically a class) or else I will lose scholarships. If I lose scholarships, I won’t be a student. If I am not a student, guess what you’ll have? One less active member.
- “You always seem to make time for them, but not us.”
Um, no. I make time for both. Most of the times you see me are because I have moved something, or cancelled something just to be there. I am every bit of a busy person. Don’t assume I won’t or don’t make time.
- “Why do you have so many KKPsi shirts, but not as many Zeta shirts?”
Probably because I’ve been in KKPsi for almost two years. And actually, in two years, I have purchased, or been gifted with 8 shirts, a pair of sock (that I have lost), a bracelet, a tiki, a jacket, and my membership pin. I have only been in Zeta for five months, and have aquired 9 shirts, a sweatshirt, a jacket, two bracelets, three pins, two pairs of socks, a tiki, a purse, a backpack, and even a bowtie. So actually, I have more Zeta paraphernalia than KKPsi paraphernalia. Hm. Would ya look at that.
- “Why do you know more about one than the other?”
Like I said, probably because I’ve been in one for two years. I have had time in those two years to learn so much about KKPsi that I wasn’t already taught. I have learned a lot in the five months I’ve been in Zeta, but it still isn’t nearly as much as the information I know about KKPsi.
- “Which one do you like better?”
Now this one is just maddening. There are characteristics about both that I like, but I don’t put one organization above the other. As stated before, I don’t have to have a favorite, and I don’t have a favorite.
So, if you have a friend, frat, or soror who is in more than one organization, support them. Saying things that are similar to the things mentioned in this list, or even talking crap about their organization isn’t okay. I can say from personal experience that it really breaks people down. That person chose to be in more than one organization for their own reasons. It’s their life, and if you want to be a part of that life, be kind.
