It hit me during the middle of a recent social event. Despite being surrounded by people, chatter, and a ridiculous amount of happiness, all of a sudden, I felt entirely alone.

I'm not the first person to have experienced such an emotion, nor will I be the last. You probably know the exact feeling to I'm which referring; it's like watching a movie in a language you don't speak or trying to run a marathon when you can hardly run a mile. You're confused and lost; you don't understand why you feel the way you do, and you can’t believe that mere seconds ago, you felt entirely fine.

I call this feeling the "lonely alone," and it is vicious. It comes in waves, some strong, some weak, some long-lasting, some ephemeral. You can't predict when it's coming, but you know when it hits you.

Then there's the "beautiful alone" - the one worth a thousand unsolicited visits from the "lonely alone."

To me, the "beautiful alone" is a sacred set of moments that I share exclusively with myself: walking around campus on a chilly day with my headphones in, carefully folding my laundry on a silent Saturday morning, and enjoying a piping hot cappuccino while the rest of the world sleeps. This kind of alone isn't loneliness; it's solitude, which is a completely different whirlwind. It consists of moments so special that they resist being expressed in words. During these kinds of moments, I'm enjoying the company of myself, not craving the presence of others.

I have recently come to realize that being alone is a very strange thing, and it also has surprisingly little to do with others. You can feel alone in a room teeming with people, and you can feel energized and fulfilled when you are literally alone. The trick, clearly, is discovering how to engage in the "beautiful alone" while avoiding the "lonely alone." Although I still haven't pinpointed the exact way to do so, I will offer a couple suggestions for when the "lonely alone" does seep into your mind: firstly, appreciate the fact that you have found time to check in with yourself amidst a chaotic situation. Then, smile internally at yourself, and smile at your surroundings. Realize that by smiling and appreciating, you are inviting that which drives away loneliness; introspection.