Nobody will ever be able to convince me that Red Vines are delicious, and I'm not apologizing for my love of Twizzlers anymore. Recently I have been experiencing a lot of backlash for my favoritism of Twizzlers over Red Vines. Listen, I understand, some of you have been raised in a strictly Red Vine household. I don't blame you for being blinded to the truth, I just I may just have to show you the light.
1. Red Vines are so waxy
They have such an unpleasant texture. They are just hard really and when you bite them they just snap. They have no stretch or pull. Twizzlers are so stretchy and chewy. The way that a licorice should be.
2. The shape is not fun
It is literally a tube with some ridges. Twizzlers are all twisty and so shiny and pretty. Red vines are so dull and yucky looking. Not to mention that they are so hollow in the middle that you barely get any candy at all.
3. The taste is gross
Red Vines are so plastic tasting. They break apart in your mouth, and they have the bitterness of licorice with no nice flavor to match it. Twizzlers are so sweet, and they have the yummy bitter licorice taste with the sweet goodness of cherry to match it. Plus, Red Vines have an essence of black licorice and everybody hates black licorice.
4. The pull apart factor
You can pull apart Twizzlers in a such a satisfying way. They peel off strand by strand and it is so fun to eat them. Red vines just break apart and snap off. They are dry and don't hold together in a satisfying way the way that Twizzlers do.
5. Nobody wants lead in their head
Red Vines black licorice was recalled after high amounts of lead was found in it. I don't know about you, but lead does not sound very yummy to me. You know what brand has never had lead in their licorice. TWIZZLERS.
6. The straw
Red Vines may have had less candy and been a better straw in the past, but now Twizzlers has leveled up and created specific Twizzlers Straws which are specifically made to be yummy and used for consuming liquids. Plus the fact that Red Vines practically fall apart in your hand would be a good indicator that is wouldn't be able to stand up to your fizzy movie theater drink.
So let's review, shall we? Twizzlers tastes better, is a much more fun (yes more fun) shape, the texture is better, it pulls apart, it doesn't have lead in it, and you can use it as a straw. If you are still not convinced, just eat a Twizzlers. Or eat a pack. I am very confident that they will be evidence enough. You don't need an entire diabetes inducing tub to convince you that they are better, only one or two. So next time you are at the movie theater, switch it up, get Twizzlers and experience the yummier of the two.
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