Dear my brother or sister,

First, I would like to say I often think about you and what life would be like if I had you here. Not a birthday goes by that I do not think about you. I would have had someone to share every birthday with.

Would you be the older one? The taller one? Or the prettier one? I know I would have had to learn to share a lot of things and occasions in life: grandparents; graduation; college experiences; and all the other milestones that occur. But the best part of all would have had someone to annoy 24/7, and drive Mom nuts with. I'm not sure how I would feel about sharing and getting used those changes. But to be honest -- I'm sure I could learn to live with it.

When mom tells me the story about how she was a healthy, happy and excited expecting mother to having scary miscarriage signs and finding out she was really pregnant with twins. But only one of us were taken from her. It truly makes me think how lucky that it was not both of us and that mom got to celebrate our life even if that only meant holding one of us in her arms.

I just celebrated my 20th birthday here on earth and I know you celebrated yours in heaven. Our birthday sign is a Gemini, which is ironic because it is a twin sign, but you are not here. I wonder if I will ever get to meet you, hear you or just feel you? I know that their is a reason God took you so soon from our family, but gave me to them. I do wonder why you and not me? How I got so lucky, and you got the short end of the stick? I know these type of things "happen for a reason" but I cannot help but to wonder why.

If you were here I cannot think of all the trouble, fun and how different life would be. Would we get along; would you protect me from boys; would we have to share a room; would you be the smart one or the athletic one; who would be Mom's favorite? These are only a few of the questions I wish I had the answer to and I know I would have them if I had you.

I'm sure having a twin would have changed me and our family dynamic in some ways. I hope that when I have kids I get the blessing of having twins, so I can remember and see what we were suppose to be. Plus, I would be able to see how lucky they are to have someone the same age as them always around.

Lastly, you will always be my sibling and I will forever think about you. I hope heaven is treating you well, and I hope you got to meet our great grandmas and great grandpas, along with our amazing Papa -- show them the ropes and wait for me. I cannot wait to meet you again someday and be together once again.

Love,

Your Twin Sister