By all accounts, 20 isn't really a monumental birthday. You have no new legal rights that you didn't have at 19. That being said, it's still pretty exciting. At the very least, once your 20th birthday passes, you're officially not a teenager anymore, which basically means you're an adult -- as scary as that sounds. In anticipation of my upcoming entrance into my twenties, I looked back on the things that I'm glad and not-so-glad I've done up until now. I've come up with this almost-definitive list of things you should make sure to cross off before you're a 20-something.
1. Take a road trip.
Why drive if I can fly has always been my motto, but this past summer I drove down to Charleston, SC for a family vacation, and the drive was almost as fun as the trip itself. If 14 hours or more in a car doesn’t sound like your thing, then drive from New York to DC, or even the Hamptons if you want a really short trip. Pack up the car, grab some friends (make sure to include one with great playlists), stock up on snacks, and hit the road. It’s an experience you won’t regret.
2. Go to dinner alone.
Learn to value your own company. Don’t be afraid to go to the dining hall or even a diner alone and to spend a meal in your own company. No one’s staring at you, I promise. The first step to being a “real” adult is to stop being afraid of being alone, at least for a while.
3. Shut off your phone for a day.
Go off the grid for a day, or at least our generation’s version of it. Can you remember the last time you went for a walk without Snapchatting it? Or the last time you went to dinner with your friends without taking a picture of your meal for Instagram? When I reach the point where my answer to that is no, I know it’s time to shut my phone off for a day, or at least a few hours, and remember what it was like to be a kid who lived fully in every moment.
4. Start a journal.
You have something worth saying, no matter what anyone tells you or what you tell yourself. Even if you don’t want to share your thoughts with the world, you should get them out on paper. Even if you don’t write every day, it’s a good way to get out stress when things get rough or to make sure that you’ll remember your favorite experiences just as vividly in another 20 years.
5. Do something that scares you.
This could be something as small as saying hi to someone who intimidates you to something as big as skydiving. Stage fright? Sing karaoke with your friends next Saturday night. I climbed a mountain on a hike for the first time this year despite being terrified of heights, and I’ve never felt more alive. I’m grateful to have people in my life who push me to face my fears, but we could all learn to push ourselves a bit more.
6. Adopt a pet, even if it’s just a fish.
You’re almost an adult, which means you’re going to have to learn to actually take care of yourself soon. What better practice than by taking care of an animal who has to love you? Maybe most of us around ready for cats or dogs, but I’d like to hope we can all at least handle a fish or a hamster. At the very least, having to feed this new thing you’re responsible will hopefully remind you to feed yourself regularly.
7. Learn to cook.
Trust me. You don’t want to be that person in their twenties who can’t even boil water for pasta. It stops being endearing at a certain point, and I believe that that point is twenty. There’s no need to be the next Food Network star, but at least learn to cook a few simple dishes so you can sustain yourself or your roommates -- like pasta or grilled cheese or stir fry.
8. Learn to bake a “signature dessert.”
On the same note, don’t be the person who shows up to a housewarming party without anything because you haven’t turned on your oven since you moved into your new place. Literally anyone can handle three-ingredient cookies, at the very least. After you master that you can work your way up to cupcakes or something similarly grown up.
9. Find a hobby.
This is for your own sanity as well as for your new status as an adult. It’s not good for anyone to spend all their free time either cooped up in a library or watching Netflix. At 20, we’re also reaching the point where we’re going to have to start doing real internship and jobs interviews. There are plenty of reasons to be tripped up in an interview, but the “what do you do for fun?” question shouldn’t be one of them. Find something you enjoy and fill one night a week with it.
10. Learn to value working out.
Notice I don’t say “love” working out, but you should at least learn to value the positive impact it has on your body. I’m not talking about trying to look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but you only get one body to last you the rest of your life. Take care of it so it can take care of you.
11. Figure out what your style is.
By the time you’re 20 it’s no longer socially acceptable to be dressed by your parents every day, and you probably don’t live at home anymore anyway. It’s also nearing the end of the time when it’s socially acceptable for you to wear sweatpants in public, if you’re even of the school of thought that it was ever acceptable. No one expects you to dress like you stepped out of the pages of Vogue; we all have our own style, and 20 is the time to figure out what yours is and how you like to express yourself through your clothes.
12. Build a blanket fort.
Just because you’re almost an adult doesn’t mean you can’t still be a kid. Push all your furniture to one side of your living room (or dorm lounge) and gather your friends and their blankets and go crazy. I bet your construction will be better now than it was when you were six, and you’ll probably appreciate the nostalgia way more.
13. Take a class for the hell of it.
This applies to college classes or even any other kind of class. Don’t forget to remind yourself that you exist for something other than your end goal. Take that art elective that doesn’t apply to your major or minor, take that piano lesson you heard about from your friend, or take that weekly yoga class. Do something for no reason other than being interested in it.
14. Buy your first big-ticket item.
I firmly believe that part of being an adult is learning the value of money, especially your own money. This applies to saving money but also to spending money, specifically how you spend money. Last summer, after receiving my first check from my summer job, I bought myself a gift for the first time. It wasn’t the first nice bag I’d ever gotten, but it was the first nice bag I’d ever bought myself -- the first really nice thing I’d ever bought myself in general, so it meant so much more.
15. Go to a small concert.
Even if you don’t know the band, there’s something to be said for the vibe at a small concert that you can’t experience anywhere else. It tends to get harder to justify going as you get older, and it probably gets harder as you inch closer towards being the oldest person in the club -- so take advantage while you’re still technically a teenager. If you don’t know a band, just pull up the calendar at Irving Plaza or another venue and pick a random day. Who knows, you might even find a new favorite artist.
16. See a movie in the middle of the day.
Everyone needs to forgo their responsibilities once or twice. Go see that new movie you keep saying you’ve been meaning to watch and just relax into the reclining chair at the movie theater where you reserve your seats. Who cares that it’s noon on a Tuesday? I guarantee you won’t be the only person there needing to escape for a bit.
17. Dye your hair.
And then dye it back in a week when you realize that nope, blonde is definitely not what you were going for when you said you wanted a “new you.” We all have to make crazy beauty choices sometimes. At least if you do it now you can blame it on teenage hormones. What’ll be your excuse once you’re supposedly an adult?
18. Find your passion.
By 20, most of us have declared our majors at college. Maybe you’re lucky and that’s your passion, and if that’s the case learn to stop making excuses and really immerse yourself in the learning you’re lucky enough to love. If it’s not then that’s okay too, but don’t use it as an excuse to avoid finding out what is. Stop being afraid to put yourself out there, and find the thing, academic or otherwise, that makes you excited to wake up in the morning.
19. Find your people.
We’ve all had our fair share of friends, good and bad, by the time we hit 20, but there comes a point where it’s time to learn how to distinguish the good from the bad. Find the people in your life who make you smile, who support you, and who inspire you to be your best self, and hold on to them forever.
20. Find yourself.
As important as people are, you’re the most important person in your life. By 20, it’s time to start recognizing your own worth without being afraid of being “over-confident.” Trust yourself, you’ve made it this far. Learn to put yourself first and to believe that you deserve that. You’re about to be a 20-something; you’re pretty smart and pretty great, so don’t forget that.
