“I could never do what you do." “How do you trust him so much." “I would have given up by now." “You’re so strong." All generic statements I hear when I talk about my LDR.
Yes, I miss him more than words can say. Yes, I get sad sometimes knowing my other friends get to go on dates with their guys while mine is thousands of miles away.
No, you probably couldn’t do what we do. No, you don’t understand what I’m going through because you’ve never gone through it.
All relationships are special, but there’s something a little more extraordinary about those who push through the distance to find their way back to their loved one.
Being in a long distance relationship is one of the most difficult situations a couple could ever go through. It is unbelievably hard to not be able to see, touch or physically comfort the person you care most about. It may be harsh, but if you’ve never been in a long distance relationship then you don’t understand how challenging it is, period. That being said, my long distance relationship is also by far one of the greatest blessings to ever be given to me. We have overcome so many obstacles and truly become a stronger couple because of it.
1. It tests your foundation.
Most long distance relationships fail because they don’t put in the effort. When you’re living in the same town, it’s easy to just drive the five miles to each other’s houses or spend time with your significant other without really trying. It makes you realize that if you don’t work for your relationship, your relationship won’t work for you.
2. You learn to be a better listener and communicator.
Since today’s LDR’s are based on technology, you learn how to read your significant other in ways you probably couldn’t before. You figure out how they text when they’re in a hurry or upset. You discover how to comfort them in ways besides holding them and letting them cry on your shoulder. You learn that communication really is key.
3. You make the most of the time you do have together.
Remember those days you used to just sit on the couch and watch TV together? Yeah, those are over. Since you barely get to see them, all those fun bucket list ideas that you came up with while you were apart can finally come to life! After waiting for so long to finally get to go on a real date that you’ve missed so much, the feeling is spectacular.
4. You learn to trust more than you ever have before.
Make those pinky promises count! It's funny how something so small can have such huge meaning. It's a work in progress to be OK with not knowing what they're doing all the time, but they more than likely feel the same way. They’re planning on going out tonight? That’s cool; you should go out, too! Haven't talked in a couple days? No biggie, they're probably just really busy. People always ask, “how do you trust them so much?” You do it because you have to, and that’s the number one way to keep your relationship strong; trusting they’ll make the right decisions even without you there.
5. The little things become the big things.
Whether it’s a surprise FaceTime, a sweet text message or just watching a movie “together” while in different time zones, it all matters. When you’re together all the time you don’t realize how many little things they do for you, and when that time is taken away it makes a huge impact. Keeping up the little things is hard when you’re so far apart because they seem more time consuming, but one small message can change their day around.
6. You develop independence.
While they’re off achieving their goals, you have the opportunity to reach yours! Having time and space apart makes you realize how much you can and should do on your own. Make the best you possibly can of where you are in life right now by yourself. Push yourself harder in school, join new clubs, make a ton of new friends. Hungry? Take yourself out to dinner at your favorite place. You don’t need a date! Want to pick up a new hobby? Now is the time to explore as an individual and find things that you love, and then later you can share them with your partner.
7. Your relationship shows others that it's really possible.
Little do you realize, people really look up to you. It's a great feeling to know that others think so highly of your relationship. Of course, they don't know everything that goes on behind the scenes, but they do see a lot of the effort the both of you put forth towards one another. A lot of people have yet to find someone so dedicated towards them, and even from miles and miles away, your significant other still proves their love to you every day.
8. Your date nights become more creative.
It sucks not being able to snuggle up on the couch together and watch a movie or go out with your favorite double date couple, but that doesn't stop you from having date night! Ordering Chinese food, watching the same movie on Netflix at the same time and texting about it is basically the same thing, right?
9. Seeing their smile after a long time makes your heart melt.
You realize how hard their days are and you'd do anything to make them happy again. Without days of barely being able to talk, that first FaceTime feels like heaven! Catching up on the week and laughing together makes it feel like you're not so far apart.
10. You find ways besides physical contact to show each other your gratification.
When birthdays and anniversaries roll around, it's hard not being able to run up to them and give them a big bear hug! But there are so many other ways to show them you're grateful for the times you've shared. Simple things like flowers or love letters sent by snail mail may not be your ideal anniversary plan, but it's most definitely the thought that counts.
11. When you finally see them, your whole world stops.
There is no better feeling in the world than finally seeing them after that long stretch of time. Being back in each others arms is something that you never take for granted.
12. If you can get through this, you can get through anything.
No matter how far your significant other may be, you must be doing something right to make it work for a reason. So when all of this back and forth comes to an end, you’ll realize how easy it actually was and how much it was worth it. If you can make it through the lack of communication, different time zones, work schedules and normal relationship conflicts, then you’ve proven that your relationship is solid.
You can't help but smile when you see how far you've come since you last saw one another. You've grown, both individually and as a couple. It’s true what they say; absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. And five or ten or however many years from now when you’re sitting in your home with the love of your life looking back at this, you’ll laugh. You’ll come to the realization that all the distance, the heartache and struggles were all worth it. It takes a momentous amount of work and dedication, but what relationship doesn’t?
