It's that time of year again, and that means we hear the "99 Bottles of Beer" of the holiday season! I'm speaking, of course, of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." The Twelve days refer to the days not leading up to Christmas, but rather the space between December 25th and the Epiphany, which is believed by some to be the day that the Wisemen arrived to see Jesus.
But Christmas is now recognized for its gift giving, so let's look at the hit your bank account will take. PNC bank has set up "PNC's Christmas Price Index" which they've been using to track the price of the twelve days since 1984.
The song is known for its repeating verses. Not taking those repeats into effect, and giving this gift the way Andy from The Officedid, with only that day's item, will total up to 150 gifts. And you better apply for a loan because just the original 150 is going to set you back $34, 363.49.
But if it's for your true love, there's no such thing as cutting corners, so you better take the repeats into account! This basically means that on the first day you are giving a partridge in a pear tree, and on the second day two turtle doves in addition to a second partridge in a pear tree. By the end of the twelve days for this plan, you'll have given a whopping 364 gifts and spent an ungodly $156,507.88 At this point, you're basically hitting them with money.
What is interesting is not so much how disgustingly expensive the whole thing is, but rather the price of the individual gifts. For example, the pear tree is going to run you $189.99 but the bird to go with it? $20. And while nine ladies dancing is going to cost $7,552.84 the eight maids-a-milking are going to cost $58 total, not per person! And, due to some strange mathematic wizardry beyond my comprehension, despite the fact that the price of gold has gone up, the five gold rings have stayed the same price for the last three years.
Now that you're armed with the mathematical knowledge of the Twelve Days, go impress that girl you like!