Christmas is upon us, Hope College! Or, at least, it will be, after we get through final exams, essays, and the dreaded group projects. There's no time like the present to be planning for, you guessed it: presents. Whether you've just started dating the guy down the hall, or have a whole cluster of eighteen-year-old girls to shop for, there's nothing like Hope paraphernalia to fill the bill.
On the First Day of Christmas...
For the grandmother who's constantly sending care packages, forget the partridge and bring home one of Hope's beloved squirrels. Just be sure to ask Grandpa whether she'd prefer her new pet in brown, grey, or black, and then wrangle a friend (or a random guy from Durfee) to help you in the capture. You may want to put a Phelps ice cream cone in your makeshift cage to lure it inside.
On the Second Day of Christmas...
For the distant 'relative' who somehow always manages to attend your intimate parents-and-siblings-only Christmas party (think fifth cousin, three times removed), I recommend ditching the turtle doves in lieu of a schnazzy pair of Hope socks, or a festive pair from our neighborhood Meijer.
On the Third Day of Christmas...
For your favorite aunt and uncle who came up for Nykerk and your first sporting event, take a brisk (and bundled) winter walk downtown to purchase an Alpen Rose gift card for it's French influence in a nod to the French Hens of the Christmas classic.
On the Fourth Day of Christmas...
Now, maybe I'm behind the times, but do you really want to bring your dad a set of colly birds (more commonly known as blackbirds)? No. Instead, consider a set of six beer glasses from New Holland, downtown (and, if you're twenty-one, maybe something to use them for).
On the Fifth Day of Christmas...
Five golden rings, while lovely, may be out of your price range this Christmas with Hope tuition costs. That being said, head to JB&Me, Francis Jaye, or Carla's for a less-expensive set of stacking rings that are trending right now for your sister or a close cousin.
On the Sixth Day of Christmas...
While goose eggs may've been an acceptable Christmas gift for the very new romantic partner in your life at some point, consider altering your shopping list to include a half-dozen cookies from Just Eat a Cookie (check them out just north of the Lake Macatawa bridge). Or, if you're really not sure about the new relationship, sneak some out of Phelps.
On the Seventh Day of Christmas...
Majestic swans aren't very plentiful on Hope's campus, but tulips are! While they're hibernating for the winter, dig up seven bulbs to plant for your mom as a holiday gift. The hearty flowers are sure to bloom in the spring. We know there's a $40 fine for picking a tulip in the city, but digging up a bulb (or seven) is okay... right? If not, pick out a tulip bouquet from Pat's Fresh Flower Market on Southshore Drive.
On the Eighth Day of Christmas...
Fresh milk is a gift you might consider for your cluster, except that you probably can't keep eight cows and milkmaids in Dykstra (I think). That leaves a definitively more tasty option: take all (or eight of) the girls you've lived with to Peachwave or Orange Leaf for a cold Christmas FroYo.
On the Ninth Day of Christmas...
For all the friends from home that you'll conveniently forget to shop for independently, pick up exactly nine copies of the past year's Hope College Worship Team CD to tuck away instead of the drummers that definitely won't fit in your car.
On the Tenth Day of Christmas...
Now's the time to badger your classmates, dorm friends, and that random guy that always sits at the table next to yours in Cook. Vespers tickets are limited to one per student, which means you're going to have to find nine other students willing to turn over theirs, in order to gift the traditional Hope concert to all of your more distant aunts and uncles.
On the Eleventh Day of Christmas...
For your least-favorite (or perhaps, forgotten) gift recipient, dig up that JPs or LJs gift card from your sock drawer that has about $11.00 left on it. They'll appreciate the gesture, even if they're left confused when they go to check the balance.
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas...
For the whole family to enjoy a 'taste of Hope' (because it would be super creepy to bring home twelve guys who'd proceed to jump around your house) bring home this Dutchman classic: a dozen fresh donuts from Good Time.