@DrunkAtIU. IU wins, Kentucky loses. All is right in the world.

@TheEllenShow. 20 years ago today was the big earthquake. We've had 3 in a row. I'm not gonna shake my martini today. I'm just gonna hold my cup & wait.

@ellebab. Certainly didn't miss going to class but I for sure missed watching people run for the bus while I'm on my way.

@sassytbh. i hit rock bottom like every 3 hours.

@pccowan12. The 6 bus driver just pulled over to grab taco-rocket. Ya know, just doin his own errands with 30+ passengers @OnlyAtIU.

@jimmyfallon. More than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last 3 years. Unfortunately, none of them were your parents. #fallonmono.

@ConanObrien. I consider 2013 a pretty good year for me because I didn’t appear in any pistachio commercials.

@danieltosh. i would be interested in a 'pimp my ride: where are they now?' episode. does the trunk bbq smoker still work? how was the resale?

@sassytbh. Fries before guys all. foods before dudes.

@FORNstar31. CITY OF BLOOMINGTON PICK UP THE LEAVES ITS JANUARY.

@ItsJennaMarbles. When you stretch and your inner porn star moan comes out by accident.

@sarahjaekel.@CaraHermanek @SeaWorld "Everything we do in the care of whales is centered on the mother-calf bond." Fuck off.” You sit on a throne of lies.

@DrunkAtIU. Assembly Hall: where ranked teams come to lose.