The men we wanted to marry, the loves of our lives, were ripped from our favorite television shows in a traumatic death that caused tissue box sales to spike. When an iconic character like Jack Pearson or Derek Shepherd dies, we question how to recover. If you are anything like me, you went into slight mourning the next day. Good television has a way of making things seem so real that it hurts.

But which death hurt worse?

After a few tissues and a little research, I’ve come up with some factors to take into consideration. Also, this does contain spoilers. So, if you haven’t seen these episodes yet, close out and come back when you do. This article may or may not be a way for me to get out my emotional trauma, but I think we are all in the same boat.

1. We always knew about Jack's death.

In comparison, we had a year or so to prepare ourselves for the death of Jack Pearson. I’d like to argue that knowing the outcome could result in less trauma for the die-hard fans. Derek's death was so abrupt we barely had time to react.

Round one winner: Derek.

2. We thought everything was fine.

We watched Jack come out of the fire. He was fine. Originally, Derek wasn’t even in the wreck. He was just saving lives. We told ourselves everything was fine. We watched Derek’s wreck victims get rescued. We told ourselves everything was fine. Then our worlds fell apart. So who’s “fine” was more traumatic? I have to go with Derek, because we always knew Jack wouldn’t make it out of Super Bowl Sunday.

Round two winner: Derek

3. Their last day

Jack’s last day was his favorite day. We heard about his dreams, we watched his kids show that they were growing up. We watched him clean the kitchen (#HubbyGoals) and be an all-around perfect man. We got to see the pure and kind Jack, just hanging out with his family.

Derek was fearless and saved lives. Because it’s always, “A Beautiful Day to Save Lives.” We got to see Derek’s genuine side, which brings on a lot of feels. We saw how good he was at his job in saving others, and even when he knew how to save himself. I think if anything, I wish we could have seen more time with Meredith and his kids, but that’s not how life works. Let’s just be thankful that he didn’t die in Grey-Sloan Memorial or that would have been HORRIBLE.

Round three winner: Jack

4. Their love for their kids

If you don’t want Jack Pearson to be your baby daddy then you are lying to yourself. Sure, Derek is ~McDreamy~ but Jack’s love for his children is second to none. You can’t forget that Derek also begged Meredith to adopt a cute baby and he loved her SO WELL. Ugh, they are just SO cute. You can argue that Derek is a work-a-holic and Jack is an alcoholic but that is irrelevant. They were both great dads, but Jack, well he changed the game. He treated his kids like shining stars, believing in them and loving them in a way we all want to be loved.

Round four winner: Jack

5. “Nobody’s gonna die”

Jack worked tirelessly to save his family. He promised them they would be okay. Derek told Winnie and Alona that, “Nobody was going to die.” They had convinced everyone around them and worked like rock stars. Derek saved 4 and Jack saved 3. The saddest part is that they couldn't save themselves. The irony behind their statements that everything is going to be okay is what kills me. I think in their statements, I have to pick Derek, because knowing the whole time he could have saved himself, hurt us all.

Round five winner: Derek

6. Listening to Derek knowing he is going to die.

If there was a trump card in this list, this would be the trump card. Listening to Derek physically rips your heart out and then stomps on it. Jack may not have seen death coming and we didn’t have to see what it was like for him to die, so I’m sure it sucked for him, but it wasn’t as traumatic as listening to Derek literally tell us, “I am going to die.”

Round six winner: Derek

7. The doctors

The doctors were poorly trained and caused Derek’s death. The doctors thought that he didn’t need a head CT. Since " This is Us" is past tense, The doctors at Jack’s hospital obviously didn’t have the advantages we have today. I’m not sure we could blame the doctors in Jack’s situation. Losing " THE" Derek Shepherd must have been an embarrassment to the fake hospital.

Round seven winner: Derek

8. Meredith & Rebecca’s Reaction

I’ve tried to compare Meredith and Rebecca and put myself in their shoes. This one is a hard one. Both women play a significant role in the life and death of their husband. So obviously I couldn’t just skim past their reaction.

Meredith Grey’s strength is something I have always admired, I feel like Meredith puking in the bush & yelling at the doctor is something I see myself doing in that situation. Meredith literally sat in the room when her husband took his last breath. She had to choose to pull the plug on her husband. She gave the doctor that was responsible for her husband’s death a lecture that would change her life, “Learn from this, better yourself, and you will be better for next time.”

Meredith, I love you.

When it comes to Rebecca, she took a bite out of her candy bar and denied it. She makes it so real. She was just with him, and she already thought she lost him a few hours earlier. Talk about heart trauma. When Rebecca sees Jack (mega shout-out to Mandy Moore) we ALL felt that. The thing with Jack’s death is that it’s so real. It’s something that could happen to anyone. Rebecca never had a choice like Meredith did, it was just over. Things like that are so abrupt, and then Rebecca had to go and rip her children’s hearts out.

Round eight winner: Rebecca… so point for Jack

9. Who died as a bigger a hero?

Derek saved the lives of four strangers prior to his death. Not to mention the countless lives in the hospital, but that was Derek’s job: to save lives. It wasn’t in his nature to abandon people in a time of need.

Jack carried a mattress and burned his hands getting himself and Kate across the hallway. Jack ran back inside for the dog while grabbing the scrapbooks and Rebecca’s special necklace. We were all rooting for Jack’s death to just be a big lie. We really got to see the character’s shining colors, but at the end of the episodes, to me, Jack was the shining star.

Round nine winner: Jack

10. The Investment

Eleven seasons. America was in LOVE with Derek Shepherd. Losing him, I still don’t feel like I will recover. Two seasons of watching Jack Pearson’s life and legacy, meanwhile knowing he is going to die really isn’t that big of an investment.

Round ten winner: Derek

11. The overall lesson of the Episodes

I don’t believe TV episodes have just a set meaning, like to kill off Derek or Jack. I think we can always learn something. For " Grey's Anatomy," we learned that the carousel never stops turning. That life is always changing, and it will never be the same.

For " This Is Us," we learned that scars never really go away, as we got to see how the kids dealt with their father’s death even twenty years later. For this part, I don’t think there is a winner. I think they both deserve a point because we all have different takeaways from different things.

Round eleven winner: TIE.

So if you have read through all this and added up my points, Derek had 7 points and Jack had 5. I agree that Derek's death was more traumatic for mankind, but they both hurt pretty badly. I hope you all find ways to cope with the loss of two great men and then laugh about how dramatic you are because, at the end of the day, it's just a TV show. Right?