I am her. I am the girl who is so guilty of comparison. I have more than I need and am so blessed, yet somehow, it’s never good enough – or I’m never good enough.
I walk past girls in the hallway at school who are a little taller or thinner than me. I park next to cars that are a little nicer than mine. I notice couples that are thriving and happy.
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And I yearn for that.
And instead of being thankful for what I have and for how God made me, I envy their shape, possessions, and relationships. I wish I could write this article with confidence, declaring that I have it all together; but I can’t. And that’s where God’s grace and goodness comes in.
In 1 Samuel, we meet two women – Peninnah and Hannah. Peninnah had an abundance of children and Hannah had none. Instead of being thankful for the husband she had and everything else God had blessed her with, Hannah yearned for the children that she lacked.
And while I’m not thankful for her discontent, I am so thankful for her life and example; God knew that some 2,000 years later I would be struggling with the same exact thing that she did.
In the grand scheme of things, I am a lot like Hannah. I lack what a lot of women have – a nicer body, a nicer car, a relationship, etc. But. I have come to grips with this incredible truth about our God – He’s an unlimited and abundant God. He never runs out of goodness and blessings and grace.
And because our God is an abundant God, I can rest in the fact that another woman’s success and blessings do not hinder mine. God has enough for all of us.
Just because Peninnah had children, did not mean Hannah would never have any. In fact, in His timing, God gave her a son- exactly what her heart desired.
John 1:16 says, “Out of His fullness we have all received grace upon grace.” – I really just love the character of my God. He is SO full of grace that it just cannot be contained, so it overflows into my life, and into those muddy, dirty areas of comparison in my heart.
Today, I am so thankful that my God promises good to me – He has loved us with an everlasting love and poured out immense and abundant blessings onto us.
He is so faithful. He taught Hannah, just like he’s teaching my heart, to seek Himself instead of what we can get from Him. A thinner body won’t fulfill me. A nicer car won’t fulfill me. Even a relationship won’t fulfill me. The only thing that can truly satisfy is the presence of my Jesus.
The Lord is slowly but surely teaching me to cultivate gratitude over comparison. Gratitude turns my ‘not enough’ into ‘more than enough.’
Rest in who He is and be grateful for all He has given us.
