There is this stigma that after we turn the age of 21 it becomes boring and every year just meshes together. We would rather hide the fact that it is our day of birth and we are another year older rather than embracing it.
As two months have quickly passed by since I turned 22, I feel as though God has given me so much clarity on my life. We all slowly start to mature, but how much I've realized in these few short months, has given me so much happiness. I can honestly say that I have already learned so much about myself, and I love that I am slowly heading to the real world. In just a few short months, I feel as though I have realized who and what is most important rather than who isn’t and what isn’t. Twenty-two has given me a new vision.
If I could give advice to my teenage self, or incoming college student, this is what I would tell myself:
1. Walk away when:
Someone tries to weigh you down rather than build you up. If you feel like you are constantly trying to impress someone. If you feel like you are never enough or are hardly ever appreciated. Turn around in a respectful manner and walk in the opposite direction. Walk away from negativity. Walk away from those who do not appreciate you. Walk away from those who make you feel drained rather than alive. The truth is that when you find the right friends, or you find the right significant other, you always have to meet each other halfway. Everything in life is about sacrificing for those we love, doing things for the ones we love-no questions asked. We should do things for others and they should do things for us, that is what healthy friendships are. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be kind to everyone, but does not want to see you settle for less than you deserve. You are a child of God, trust in him that he will place the right people in your life, but you have to let go and walk away from the wrong ones.
2. Never, ever "give in"
Do not be peer pressured into doing something you know isn't you. Stay strong and stand for what YOU believe in- your morals, your values, your faith. Let me tell you, it is better to respectfully remove the people from your life who do not support you or who do not make you a better person. It is nothing against them, and you shouldn't wish any hard feelings on them, you just need to go your separate paths. In the end, the people you surround yourself with are a great indication of who you are or will become.
3. Love your parents and family with all your heart
In our adolescent years, we go through a lot of changes, and we are constantly growing and maturing. We sometimes care more about staying out with friends and less about disrespecting our parents by missing our curfew. Keep in mind, that they are only setting rules to keep you safe verses making your life miserable. They are setting rules not just because they love you, but because they are teaching you life lessons, and setting the foundations for your life as you grow.
4. Ditch your phone at the dinner table
We live in a society where our hands are glued to our cell phones. What are my friends doing tonight, what picture did my crush post on Instagram, what did that person tweet about? Are you actually spending time with your family even when your body is there and your brain is somewhere else? I promise you that you will appreciate spending time with loved ones more and more as you age. Put your phone down, and actually engage in conversations with your own flesh and blood.
5. Who really cares for you
The stresses of school, breakups, financial issues, health complications-your true friends will always and forever stick by you. When you hit rock bottom, you learn a lot about yourself and even more about the people who are actually there for you. Do not waste your time on people who are extracting the happiness out of your life. Give your kind heart to the ones who actually care about you and are there for you too.
6. You are worth so much more than you know
Nothing hurts more than getting your heart broken, being walked on, or enduring the pain and sting of hurtful words. Our brains replay those words over and over again, until we are convinced of these false accusations. If you look in the mirror every day, and are happy with the person that you are, and know your worth as a child of GOD, then walk in the opposite direction from the ones who drag you down. I promise you that there are people out there who will make you a better person, and will love you for you. As you age, you will realize that quality over quantity matters most. Leave the negativity behind and hold onto the few people that actually shine light on your life.
7. “The one” will make you feel like you are everything they ever wished for
Personal attraction becomes less of an importance and feeling loved becomes far greater. Remember everything that you deserve, and make finding a godly man or a godly woman a bigger priority than how they look. The hype of someone’s looks will slowly start to fade as you get to know their heart. Look for someone who makes your faith stronger, makes you better and forces you to smile brighter. Your future spouse will make you feel like the luckiest human being on the planet, and show you all that you are.
8. Be independent rather than depending on the wrong person
It can be difficult to be single sometimes. Some people would rather stay in an unhappy relationship than even try and fathom the thought of being on their own again. Please, DON’T do this. Use this time to yourself. Let this be a time for you to mature physically, mentally, spiritually. Work on yourself and ask God to lead you to the right person on his time. You don't need to be in a relationship to feel loved or to determine your worth. Remember that!
9. Forgive yourself
Own up to your mistakes and say sorry when you do something wrong. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Life is far too short to get fixed on the small things. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Ask God for forgiveness. Do not hold onto regret. No one is perfect, and everyone deserves a second chance. So let go of all the pain, all the sadness, all of the mistakes that you've made and learn from it.
To all of you reading this: you are special, you have a gift, you are important to so many and lastly, meeting you is someone else's dream.
