Twenty. A solid number beginning a whole new set of tens, a decade to be lived.
There is nothing special about this number; it's not like 16 or 18 or 21.
But yet, there is something that makes me feel different about this birthday.
It's a goodbye and a hello. A goodbye to my teenage years, a hello to adulthood, both full of mistakes, firsts, and lessons to be learned.
I don't feel older than eighteen or nineteen. Being in college, I'm in an environment where I can pull the teen or adult switch at any moment. But now, I feel a sense of maturity and a responsibility to grow up. I cannot use "being young" as an excuse for acting a certain way. My behavior isn't cute anymore. It seems as if it was yesterday, I was turning ten and thinking about everything I would endure and experience within that decade. Some of my predictions were right and others were not. When I was younger, I was so envious of 20 year olds. They seemed to be able to do what they pleased – they seemed to have it all together. But, today I know that my depiction of this age group was very wrong. So much change happens within ten years. I grew out of my awkward middle school stage, got my diploma, earned my license, lost friends, gained new ones, etc. But this decade is different, there are things to be expected and others that are not. There is no turning back. Time cannot pause or rewind. I know I will graduate college, move somewhere new, enter the workforce, maybe get married and possibly start a family, but the unforetold events and moments are what I think about the most. I cannot plan for the unexpected moments that are just a part of life. Those common experiences will not happen to some people, maybe even myself, and that is okay.
But, for once, I have never felt more in control of my future.
This is indeed my life and I'm in charge. I'm not saying everything I go for, I will succeed in, because there will be failure and defeat, but the point is that I chose or did or went for it.
Twenty is a time to play but also plan. Maybe the moment that comes with being 20 is reflection. Look back at your life, ultimately your entire childhood and the chapter of growing up, shaping who you are and changing for the better.
Twenty is an instant of knowing you've come so far, but your story truly starts here.
