I am officially 20-years-old and a sophomore in college, what the heck.

That was my thought process on my birthday, realizing how old I really am and that I am doing things I used to only dream of. Oddly enough I never really thought about turning 20 when I was younger. I would think about going to college and starting my own career but I didn't really focus on age. I really didn't think about it until a few months before my birthday, then it all hit me.

I know I have already written about my teenage years ending and my thoughts on it but it's still something that can be hard to grasp at times. Accepting that my teenage years were over/ending was hard for me because I almost didn't believe it. It was hard for me to believe that I was turning 20-years-old; that number always sounded so old to me until now.

After I came to terms with it, I wasn't really that sad about it anymore. I realized that I was never your typical teenager and that I have always been more mature for my age. So I won't really miss being an irresponsible teenager because I never really was one to begin with. During my teenage years, I would get irritated with other people my age because they would do things I didn't agree with and they just didn't understand my thinking. Hopefully, in turning 20 and having friends that are older this won't happen as much, but we will see.

Turning twenty is a challenge in itself but doing so in college just adds to it. The first thing I noticed about being an upperclassman in college is having even more independence. I can now have my car on campus and drive anywhere, which wasn't possible when I was a freshman. I love having my car and being able to come and go more freely but a part of me did miss having my family come pick up from college and bring me home. I didn't think I would miss being able to talk to my mom or grandmother during all of the car rides, but I did. Driving home and then returning to campus by myself for the first time was really strange for me. It just reminded me how old I am and how I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm an adult. It's the little things like that that made this year different from previous birthdays. With each year you become more and more independent and many aspects of your life change, this is a good thing but it can be hard to wrap your head around.

Turning twenty is weird.

It's a major transition from being a teenager to a real adult. Embracing change and getting older is important to do but sometimes it takes time to really be at peace with it, and that's okay. Being an upperclassman in college is definitely more challenging than being a freshman (college just started a few weeks ago and I am already learning this) but it's nothing I can't handle. Growing up is scary, confusing and a lot of times things just don't make sense but your perspective on it makes all of the difference. Sure, being a sophomore in college is already stressful but I am doing something I used to only dream of, going to college. I am literally living out a dream I've had since childhood so how can I be upset about it? Even though there is a lot of uncertainty that comes with aging it's important to remember where you started and how far you have come to propel you into the future of your dreams.