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11 Turkey Day Jokes To Use At Dinner

"Gobble till you Wobble"

Brielle Malanga

Nov 24, 2015

Fairleigh Dickinson University

1421

Telling a Turkey Day joke over Thanksgiving dinner is the perfect way to dodge questions asked by your relatives that you don't want to answer. They also pose for some good laughter for you and your family to share. And since they're all a little corny (pun intended), they'll fit perfectly at the dinner table.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To show that he wasn’t chicken.

Why didn't the taxidermy want seconds?
He was stuffed.

Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make bread?
It’s a crummy job.

What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach Gobbler.

Where do you find a turkey with no legs?

Exactly where you left it!

Who’s never hungry on Thanksgiving?
The turkey. He’s always stuffed.

Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
It makes her blush.

What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Take him out for pizza and ice cream.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

How much did the Mayflower weigh?
A Puri-TON.

What did the pilgrims use to bake cakes
May-flour.

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11 Turkey Day Jokes To Use At Dinner

"Gobble till you Wobble"

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I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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