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TSA Officers, Am I Right?

Stories of my funniest interactions with my favorite airport employees!

Madhurima Das

Jun 15, 2016

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Business Insider

I have had lots of ridiculous experiences at the airport, so I’ve compiled some of my favorite and funniest TSA officer stories here!

A woman gets flagged down during security for having a large jar of Nutella in her carry-on luggage. I watch as she attempts to flirt her way out of the situation. The TSA officer shakes his head regretfully as he informs her that she must throw away the Nutella since it isn’t allowed on the plane. She begins to walk away, angry her flirting did not yield concrete results. As she’s leaving, the TSA officer calls out behind her, “So, do you come here often?” The woman sarcastically says, “I live here,” then turns on her heel and storms off.

Scene: I'm at the airport wearing my Hogwarts shirt, going through security on the way to China.
TSA officer: Is the train picking you up from Beijing?
Me: (confused) I was going to take a taxi, actually...
TSA officer: (laughing at me) You're not taking the train to Hogwarts, then?
Me: OHHHH! Ha.
TSA officer: That took a while, huh?

The following interactions all happened during the same visit to the airport!

Scene 1

The TSA officer looking at my ID: Hey, it's almost time!

Me: (panicking and thinking he's talking about my flight) Oh really?

Him: Yeah, just over a year now!

Me: Haha, yeah...?

I had no idea what he was referring to and finally realized he was talking about turning 21.

Scene 2

The TSA officer at the luggage scanner: I've been hungry for 54 years now! I get hungry while eating dinner.

Me, silently: Same, though.

Scene 3

The TSA officer behind the body scanner: Another AXO! AXO is my favorite sorority!

Me: Me too!

Him: Ha ha. My sister was an AXO, I guess we're biased. Where at?

Me: MIT!

Him: Oh wow.

The TSA officer checking inside my luggage because of course it got flagged: There's something in here that I need to check, but I think it's food.

Me: It's probably chocolate.

Him: (after opening my suitcase and finding that 60% of it is in fact full of chocolate) Oh, wow…these look yummy!!

I thought about offering him one but figured it might seem like a bribe, so I decided against it.

We'll find out soon what the next episode is in my never-ending airport saga!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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TSA Officers, Am I Right?

Stories of my funniest interactions with my favorite airport employees!

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10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

Money

Socks

Blankets

Gift Cards

Hoodies and Sweatpants

Pajamas

Candles

A Fish

CDs

Movie Tickets

Candy

Gag Gifts

Dollar Shave Club

A Stocking of Toys

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Hairbands, Clips, and Bobby-pins