I have had lots of ridiculous experiences at the airport, so I’ve compiled some of my favorite and funniest TSA officer stories here!
A woman gets flagged down during security for having a large jar of Nutella in her carry-on luggage. I watch as she attempts to flirt her way out of the situation. The TSA officer shakes his head regretfully as he informs her that she must throw away the Nutella since it isn’t allowed on the plane. She begins to walk away, angry her flirting did not yield concrete results. As she’s leaving, the TSA officer calls out behind her, “So, do you come here often?” The woman sarcastically says, “I live here,” then turns on her heel and storms off.
Scene: I'm at the airport wearing my Hogwarts shirt, going through security on the way to China.
TSA officer: Is the train picking you up from Beijing?
Me: (confused) I was going to take a taxi, actually...
TSA officer: (laughing at me) You're not taking the train to Hogwarts, then?
Me: OHHHH! Ha.
TSA officer: That took a while, huh?
The following interactions all happened during the same visit to the airport!
Scene 1
The TSA officer looking at my ID: Hey, it's almost time!
Me: (panicking and thinking he's talking about my flight) Oh really?
Him: Yeah, just over a year now!
Me: Haha, yeah...?
I had no idea what he was referring to and finally realized he was talking about turning 21.
Scene 2
The TSA officer at the luggage scanner: I've been hungry for 54 years now! I get hungry while eating dinner.
Me, silently: Same, though.
Scene 3
The TSA officer behind the body scanner: Another AXO! AXO is my favorite sorority!
Me: Me too!
Him: Ha ha. My sister was an AXO, I guess we're biased. Where at?
Me: MIT!
Him: Oh wow.
The TSA officer checking inside my luggage because of course it got flagged: There's something in here that I need to check, but I think it's food.
Me: It's probably chocolate.
Him: (after opening my suitcase and finding that 60% of it is in fact full of chocolate) Oh, wow…these look yummy!!
I thought about offering him one but figured it might seem like a bribe, so I decided against it.
We'll find out soon what the next episode is in my never-ending airport saga!
