While at small group this week, we somehow landed on the topic of Job. Our conversation had been a batter brimming with talk of faith and what it means to remain faithful, which eventually led us to the notable chapter of The Old Testament. Our discourse only really discussed the fundamentals of Job, but this abbreviated version was convincing enough for me to invest in a new set of cheerfully colored sticky notes and to make the decision that my Friday was going to be dedicated to reading the scripture of Job. Well, not just reading it, but understanding it.

To be completely honest with you guys, I thought that this would be a simple task. I expected to sit down inside the quaint little coffee shop of my choosing, crack open The Holy Book, swiftly read the text of Job, and instantaneously become overwhelmed by my new found comprehension. I anticipated uncovering a biblical resolution to the age-old question: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I was eager. I was excited. I was prepared to master the story that would undoubtedly give an explanation to the reasoning behind specifically why humans suffer misfortune. And, as I am sure many of you have guessed, that is not quite how things turned out.

For those of you that have read Job, you know exactly what I am talking about. Job in its entirety left me dazed and puzzled, mainly because I felt as though I had missed the purpose of Job's suffering. I was seeking absolute clarity, but instead, I was ending the chapter with a mind that was foggier than when I first started. You could even say that I finished reading Job with a sense of disappointment. Not disappointment in the text necessarily, but rather disappointment in myself. How was I not understanding this? What was it that I was missing?

I began to explore online Bible studies in the hopes of gaining a better grasp of what I had just read, but I was left feeling unsatisfied with everything that I had found. I think my spirit of defeat was chiefly fueled because I was fiercely searching for one specific answer to one specific question: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I mean, Job was a good guy. Actually, he was a great guy! Even God referred to him by saying "He is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." (Job 1:8). God said that Job was blameless. God. The One who created the Heavens and the Earth pronounced out loud that this guy was exceptional. So then why did God allow Job to suffer? Job lost everything! His kids, his servants, his livestock, but why? I thought he was blameless!

I was on the hunt for all of the answers to all of my questions to become clear at once, but they weren't, and I was getting frustrated. In spite of my frustration, I called my small group leader and invited myself over to her house (which was totally rude. Sorry Kelley!) in order to obtain her insight on the matter. We sat at her kitchen table reading verses and inspecting footnotes, and though I was getting closer to the answers I was looking for, I still wasn't meeting them in full. Before leaving her house, Kelley handed me a book of commentaries that fully covered the content of Job. I took the sizable book, got in my car, and made a B-line straight for Whole Foods to study the analysis that was just given to me.

If you think that the next part of this article is going to say something like "And I went to Whole Foods and read the book of commentaries and all my questions were answered and now I perfectly understand Job," you should probably stop here. I read the commentaries, yes, but I did not receive exact answers.

Look, guys, I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I don't know why children contract terminal illnesses, or really anyone, for that matter. I don't know why businesses fail and people lose everything. I don't know why friendships end, and I don't know why people get hurt, but I do know that we are called to remain faithful. If we can learn anything from Job's story, it's that God recognized Job's devotion, and God ultimately vindicated him for that.

Here's what I'm not saying: If we remain faithful, God will not allow us to experience trials. If we remain faithful, God will eventually reward us. That would give us false intentions. It would become easy for us to fall victim to staying faithful for the purpose of later scoring a bonus from God. If we were to serve God solely for what we would get out of it, then we wouldn't really serving God at all, right? We would only be serving ourselves by making God deliver us for our good deeds.

Here's what I am saying: He calls us to be obedient. God wants to teach us through our sufferings and to praise Him and to thank Him, even for our endeavors. He wants us to live by faith, but not by a faith that is driven out of the thought of reward. He wants us to live by a faith that is without scheming. A faith that allows us to obey him in spite of feelings, in spite of circumstances, in spite of consequences. A faith that causes us to live knowing that He is working out His flawless plan on His time and in His way. He will reward us on His terms, not our own.

Through all of our messes and strive and strains, the book of Job reminds us that no matter what happens, God has everything under control. Sometimes God allows us to encounter darkness and struggle because He wants us to turn toward His light. He doesn't want us to make our own light or find a way to collect light from others, but to trust in Him and to know that His light is our guide.

We may not completely understand why bad things occur in our lives until the day that we arrive in Heaven and can ask God himself, but until that day, we walk by faith. We believe with confidence that God only does what is right and that we do not have to be afraid, even in our most painful situations.

He is the author of our lives. He has written every chapter with deep consideration and compassion and mercy. He knows our battles and conflicts, and He uses these to help us grow and to better our hearts and to make us turn toward Him. And though sometimes life is beyond tough and sucky, and feels like the worst, we can take heart in knowing that He has beautifully composed every single part of our lives for good, and how lucky are we to have a God that loves us that much?