I have days when it seems like I can’t escape certain memories. A particular song will play on the radio, I’ll drive past a seemingly significant restaurant or park, or Facebook will make me think I want to look back at memories and pictures of exactly what I’m trying to forget, almost like the world is playing some sick practical joke on my emotions. People seem to bring up memories I don’t want to talk about at the exact wrong time, and Snapchat’s ideas of who “Needs More Love” couldn’t be more sadistic. This being said, how is it possible to move on when life keeps reminding you of exactly what you’re trying to move on from?
I have found that time really is the only thing that can help you move on. Unfortunately, with all of the “Throwback Thursday” tags and Facebook memories it seems as if even time is losing its power. For me, once I see one old picture I tend to give into temptation and go look at all the other photos as well. Finding anything from an old relationship, or anything else that holds sentimental value, is an immediate trip down memory lane, whether it be an old receipt or ticket stub, or an old picture you thought you threw out. They always seem to pop up right when you least expect it, and therefore when you’re least prepared to deal with it. While surprises may be great, these are the worst and make it impossible to move on completely.
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I think moving on has come to mean completely forgetting and not being affected by something. In reality, if something or someone has affected us so much that we felt the need to move on from it, chances are we aren’t going to completely forget it for a long, long time, if ever. That’s just how it works. If it was easy to get over something, moving on wouldn’t even be a concept. In reality, we avoid certain streets or places because they bring up old memories and feelings. We automatically change stations on the radio if a certain song starts playing, just so we don’t have to relive the past. Certain names are ruined for us because they remind us of certain people we’d rather forget. Forgetting these things doesn’t seem possible and I honestly don’t want to completely forget these things either.
I’ve come to learn that moving on can’t mean forgetting. Moving on can’t include not having feelings or emotions. These are natural things, and if moving on meant not having them or ignoring them, then moving on simply wouldn’t be natural. Moving on needs to come naturally. It won’t mean that you won’t feel a certain way when you walk around certain areas of town, or hear a certain song. It won’t mean that you won’t internally cringe any time someone talks about a certain person, or asks how you’re doing. It simply means that eventually you’ll be running late to work and you won’t even notice the song on the radio. Eventually, you’ll go to that coffee shop you’ve been avoiding simply because it was convenient.
This is what moving on means. The old emotions and feelings that were brought on by these places, songs and names won’t be forgotten; they just won’t be as prominent. Moving on is another form of acceptance and once you stop forcing yourself to try to forget it, the easier it will be to accept that things are different now, and one day you will look back and realize that you’ve moved on without even realizing.
