Anyone who knows me will tell you one thing: I am an overachiever. I may be a lazy overachiever, but I am an overachiever.
I push for greatness in everything I do and refuse to accept failure in anything that I do. As of now, I am a waitress part time, a student full time, a part time Contributing Editor and Content Creator here at The Odyssey,a member of the Collegiate International English Honors Society, Sigma Tau Delta, and the Secretary of the STEA chapter on my campus. I am finishing Residency I at Austin Peay State University and am preparing to start my student teaching in August to graduate in December of this year.

So, as you can see, I stay very busy.

Often times, however, I do not overachieve and push myself solely for the purpose of succeeding. Sometimes, I find myself pushing myself further and further so that I can appear to be the woman who can do everything. I'll admit it: I've always wanted to be Wonder Woman. I have always felt a flutter in my stomach and a strong feeling of pride whenever I tell someone all that I do and they looked at me with shocked expressions, then begin asking me how I handle everything so well.

I love appearing to be the girl who can handle everything and still succeed. Unfortunately, this has led me to push myself to appear to be that girl, even when my head is barely above water and I'm seconds from drowning.

I would love to think that I have my life as together as it appears I do. I would love to think that people see me going from class to work to class to meeting to work and wonder how I do it, amazed at my effort. But I know that isn't true, and that makes me upset.
So I push harder.
I push myself past the breaking point and when I sense any type of resentment or failure, I break down. Keeping up appearances is tough, especially when you're keeping them up for yourself.

But I am learning.

I am learning to only push myself for me and to accept the little failures and losses. I am learning that a "B" or even a "C" isn't the end of the world and that no one expects me to be perfect. But what is even better is that I am learning that I am not the only one who pushes for the illusion of perfection. Seeing others push themselves to appear like super heroes makes me feel not so alone.

Being the girl who can't do it all but who tries to look like she can is absolutely exhausting. But I'm learning that I don't have to be that girl.
And I am learning to be okay with that.