Self-harm is a topic that many do not understand and struggle to make sense of, as a result people are not able to receive the help they need and are judged for their actions. Here is a list of truths and secrets I have discovered throughout my journey.
1. Relapses happen. But that does not mean I am – or anyone else is — back at square one. You can continue on, and it will get better.
2. It doesn't make sense to others why you would harm yourself.
3. Even while in recovery, the urges are still creep into your head and that is okay.
4. Showing your scars will be hard, but it is a sign of bravery and strength.
5. I am more than what I use to cope, so please do not call me a cutter.
6. I don't do it for attention, I often wish no one would have found out.
7. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but strength.
8. I am not trying to hurt anyone around me, instead I am trying to help them and myself.
9. Just because someone self harms, doesn't mean they are suicidal.
10. It becomes an addiction.
11. Your scars don't define you, they tell your story.
12. Recovery is not linear, there will be times when you fall down but you are strong enough to get back up.
13. You will meet people who judge and don't understand, it can be hard but I hope they learned a lesson.
14. Just because I self harm doesn't mean I am "crazy".
15. Telling someone to stop doesn't take the pain away, it only makes the feeling of shame stronger.
These are truths that I have came to realize while dealing with self harm and while I am writing this I keep thinking about how easy it is to say these things but not take that advice. During winter break, I spent time in Florida at my aunts and could never muster the courage to wear short sleeves. Part of this was because some of the cuts were still fresh but mostly because I am ashamed of my scars and afraid of judgment. There will come a time when I am comfortable with showing my scars, but for now I am not. It is a goal I can strive to reach and another reason to continue on.
Remember, help is out there and there are people (counselors, family members and friends) who will support you. Keep hope alive, this world would not be the same without you in it.