When winter reigned and cold air frequently chapped my lips with violently chilly winds, I found significant joy in a warm sip of my warm drink from my Yeti thermos. I could make coffee early in the morning and still be able to enjoy the hot drink hours later! I could sing more praises of this singularly historic scientific innovation, but I will stall my fingers. I have noticed, however, another extraordinary feature of my thermos. As the temperatures in the atmosphere outside of my yeti have risen, the temperatures of the beverages inside of my yeti have fallen. This led me to my newest discovery: the thermos keeps the drinks cold too. This is wonderful news, but it creates a new curiosity in my head. How does it know whether to keep the drinks hot or cold? To this I have given much thought, and I would like to now share my thoughts with you. With any luck, this will reach the truly curious of the scientific community so that they might be able to find some better answers. Without further adieu, my theories:

My first theory is that of self-aware nanobots. The inside of the thermos looks normal enough, sure. It looks like basic metal. However, let’s entertain the idea that this surface is not so simple. What if this surface is covered with microscopic robots which detect the temperature of the beverage and adjust the type of insulation to match the temperature of the beverage? Technology on the small scale is already in development, so let’s not dismiss this idea! Yeti has no comments about nanotechnology on its official website, but come on - that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

My next theory is that there is a steam receptor on top of the thermos. This vapor sensor is able to deduce by the amount of steam exuded from the contained liquid the heat of said liquid. Think about this. Doesn’t the beverage return to its original temperature much more rapidly with the lid off? Do you think this is a simple coincidence? I think not! It’s the steam receptor! The steam receptor is gone! And without the proper information on whether to keep the drink hot or cold, the thermos has no protocol and is forced to return the drink to the temperature of the room. I know that the lid is clear, but please, let’s not forget television screens are clear also. Technology does not have to be black to be technology people!

My final theory is that the thermos is hyper intelligent. With the cost of computer supplies, I think Yeti might just be capable of creating computer components capable of producing an algorithm that is able to, with 100% certainty, predict exactly what drink you will drink at exactly what time you will drink it at. This, my friends is the reason for the unnaturally large base of the metallic cup: it is housing a supercomputer! This supercomputer is so intelligent that it is able to combine your Facebook profile, your amazon account purchases, and your social security number into an exact prediction of drink usage.

Now, obviously, we shouldn’t limit the theories to just these three. It could be any combination of the three, frankly. These cups are a marvel of modern innovation, and they could certainly employ nanobots all fitted with supercomputers. This is undeniable truth. Anyway, I digress. The point is that how these cups are able to decipher whether they should keep a drink hot or keep a drink cold is beyond me. I am simply thankful that we have these drinks to lean on whether it be winter coffee or summer lemonade. Whether we ever know how they do it, we can all enjoy the glories of the Yeti thermos.